The Student, the Wizard, and the Closet
by Crazy Cravat
Summary: Thestral Dea opens her closet and what does she find? A very confused Gilderoy Lockhart standing in her closet. Interested much? READ! Review! (Complete)
1. From The Depths of My Closet

A/N: I have to thank Melinda for the idea for this. If it weren't for our insanely random IM I would never have been attacked by The Plot Bunny of Doom who chewed at my penguin socks until I sat down to write this. Mind you, this is no Mary Sue because my character is not going to save the day and this isn't an epic. Basically this is my take on what would happen if someone from the Potterverse got pulled in my world, the world of reality. This is certainly not a one shot so keep checking back.  
  
Also, this is the story that the off-shoot "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" written by Scarlet Rurouni comes from. Basically we're going to do cameo's in each other's fics. Both stories are the same premise: from the depths of our closets emerges our favorite character from whatever medium, mine being Harry Potter and hers from the anime Trigun. Gotta love the collaborations eh? Enjoy!  
  
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I sighed and rolled away from my desk where I had just spent two solid hours working on both my english paper and a chapter of one of my stories. I'd come to the conclusion I was in sore need of a break. So, with a smile I logged off my computer and stepped over to my closet to grab a particularly warm fleece sweater. I placed my hand on the wooden knob and pulled it open to find my closet was not my closet. It was, but it wasn't. There was a blinding flash of white light and I stepped away to cover my eyes. Once the light dimmed I pulled my hand from my face and looked and felt my jaw drop. There in my closet stood none other than Gilderoy Lockhart, the most egocentric character from my beloved Harry Potter series.  
  
*Well at least I know where that blinding light came from, it was his insanely white teeth.*  
  
I stood staring at him, wide eyed wondering if I had somehow lost my mind. How in the world could this fictional character be standing in my closet? Was this a stray daydream manifested from my obsession with the books and it's characters?  
  
Gilderoy just stood staring at me as well, as if going through the same train of thought I was going through. He might be wondering where he was or actually he may have been wondering why I hadn't asked for his autograph yet. Yes, that must be what he is thinking. He's got to be wondering why I haven't fainted at the sight of him.  
  
*I MUST be bleeding mad. This cannot be real. I am just imagining things. I'll close my eyes and open them and find my closet empty.*  
  
Deciding that I really was losing it I went ahead and closed my eyes, thinking that when I would open them things would be normal once again. Upon opening them, I could still see him standing there staring at me.  
  
*That's it! This calls for desperate measures. Now I know I'd never really do this, but well ... it's the only way to really tell. Just do it and get this insane dream out of your head.*  
  
I took a deep breath and crossed the space between us and stood on tiptoe and kissed him soundly for a moment or two before I realized I REALLY was kissing someone solid and real. I felt real lips and I felt him kiss me back for a moment after his initial surprise. As this all registered in my mind I nearly jumped out of my skin and stepped away from him hastily.  
  
"Oh-my! I-er ... I um-" I sputtered incoherently as I looked back into those surprised blue eyes of his. I felt myself blushing crimson and wished I could die then and there.  
  
*This is still so completely unreal. It can't be. It just cannot be. The laws of reality say so.*  
  
"Er ... I ... uh ... where am I?" Gilderoy stammered, looking at me still with the utmost confusion and surprise.  
  
*Is that his question on the situation or has he still not yet gained back his memory during his time in St. Mungo's?*  
  
"Er ... before I tell you, what do you last remember?" I asked, sitting down heavily in my pink swivel chair wondering if I should just believe what my senses were telling me, that he was indeed there before me. He however remained standing thinking.  
  
"I remember ... well that is to say, the last thing I remember doing was going to my closet in my room in St. Mungo's and then I ended up here. Where am I?" He explained and then asked again, his blue eyes gazing avidly around my room.  
  
Deciding to just go along with it and explain it all, I sighed and stood up.  
  
"Well you're in my room right now. However in the greater scheme of things you aren't in England anymore. You're in America, the state of California to be precise. Now, how you came to be here is beyond me so don't expect any answers to that." I told him, crossing my arms across my chest and shifting my weight to my right leg.  
  
He glanced at me and smiled slightly. "I'm in America?" He asked me.  
  
"Yes." Was all I could think to say. He was looking at me with those blue eyes and that damned smile of his. He really was quite handsome for a completely egocentric narcissistic fraud.  
  
"Do you happen to have a fireplace connected to the Floo Network? If so I can get back that way. I don't think it would be good for me to apparate back. I might splinch myself from being so distracted." He inquired, moving about my room and looking at my various knick knacks and trinkets.  
  
*Great! Now how do I explain that he technically doesn't exist in my world when I barely understand this strange phenomena myself?*  
  
"Well ... er ... to be honest I don't. Even if I had a fireplace it wouldn't be connected because I am a muggle. No-wait ... er ... I should probably tell you that ... well ... you don't really exist. At least you don't exist here. You see, you are a fictional character from these books. Er ... d'arvit!" I tried to explain and then decided I wouldn't be able to make sense of it to him.  
  
He looked at me for a moment utterly confused. "Er, just hold that thought for a moment." I told him and dropped down to my knees on the floor and reached under my bed for my rubberware bin. After I got it out from under my bed I opened the lid and proceeded to shift the contents to grab my prized Harry Potter books. I decided to pull them all out, everything from The Sorcerer's Stone to The Order of the Phoenix. I then rose to my feet and stood uncertainly before him for a moment.  
  
I sighed and decided to just tell it like it is. "All right, um ... when I said you technically didn't exist, well I meant in this world, or this dimension I suppose is the better word, you're not real. You're a character from these Harry Potter books," and here I flipped open to a particular page in my paperback Chamber of Secrets book, "you see here, 'Celebrity is as celebrity does, remember that Harry' is something you'd remember am I correct?"  
  
He nodded and took the book from me and perused it, his eyes growing wide. "This is exactly what I remember ... all of it ... but ... how can it be? You say I am not real? But I am! I've all the awards from Witch Weekly and everyone knows my name! How can I not be real?" He asked me, almost indignant with the idea that he as not real.  
  
*Oh cripes! Does he honestly think he's all that great?*  
  
"Well I suppose in the Potterverse you'd be real, but this is reality. I'm from the real world and you are a character from a book. YOU ARE NOT REAL! However, seeing as how you are standing before me and seeing as how I truly did kiss you and you weren't just air, you are real in this moment in time." I couldn't help but blush thinking of my kissing him. I seriously would never have done that in ordinary circumstances. Anyone one of my friends could totally agree with that and had they seen me in action they would have agreed that I'd lost my mind.  
  
"I suppose you somehow got pulled into this dimension, to my world of reality. I don't know how it happened and I know not how you'll get back to your world. For now I suppose you'll have to stay here and wait to be sent back by the powers that be that saw fit to deliver you here to my room of all places." I explained to him, very much thankful that my parents and sister were away for the next three weeks or I'd have a whole lot of explaining to do and how do you explain having a blond haired blue-eyed wizard in your room?  
  
Gilderoy merely nodded and glanced down at my books that he held in his hands and then suddenly glanced sharply up at me as if suddenly realizing something. "If I am to be staying with you here, I should at least know your name." He said, smiling that dashing smile of his.  
  
"Forgive my rudeness, my name is Stephania Julianna." I told him.  
  
"Stephania Julianna ..." He murmured the name as if trying to taste it. "Lovely name, I say." He smiled at me, his blue eyes boring into my brown ones.  
  
*D'arvit! I'll have to watch myself with this one around the house. If I am not careful ...* 


	2. Throwing Myself At Him

A/N: Once again, Eliza Brookson is my friend and authoress Scarlet Rurouni. She'll have her own fic to complement this story from her perspective and of course share in the closet goodness, as Vash The Stampede from Trigun is the choice character that decided to pay her an impromptu visit quite like Gilderoy Lockhart did to me. To view her story go and find "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" and I will be playing some cameo's in that one as she will be doing a few in mine.  
  
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Yawning, I turned over on my bed in very groggy movements. Images of Gilderoy being set to sleep on my sofa in the living room growing dim as I grew more aware and alert.  
  
*Now that was the freakiest dream I've ever had. Note to self: no more cake frosting in the middle of the night from now on.*  
  
I then sat bolt upright in my bed, my two blankets bunched around me and my Eeyore fleece sweater riding up a few inches. I made to rise and grab my slippers from the floor but the combined effort and the lingering images in my mind made coordination very very difficult. The end result was my toppling over onto my hardwood floor with a resounding thud.  
  
"Bugger! Ohh, that was quite brilliant Stephie." I groused to myself as I tried to stand up slowly, my right arm and hip hurting slightly from the fall. Once I managed to stand up with no further accidents I went over to my door and opened it slightly, just to get a quick view of the living room from my vantage point.  
  
"What in the faerying forest? It wasn't a dream?" I asked myself as I spied the sleeping form of Gilderoy snoozing away on my sofa. I closed the door then, and bit my lip. What to do? "Huff puff! This situation can wait. Everything always looks a little better after breakfast anyway." I then got out of my sweater and black "I Don't Do Costumes" Halloween shirt underneath. I moved to my dresser and pulled a plain blue V-necked shirt from it's depths as well as my one good pair of jeans. Once I donned my wear for the day, I left my room and purposely did not glance at the sleeping wizard as I made my way to the kitchen.  
  
I slid close the kitchen door and made straight for the CD player on the counter beside the laundry alcove. I turned it on and put in my mother's Bee Gee's "Saturday Night Fever" album and pressed play, waiting a moment until I heard the familiar opening tunes to "Stayin Alive". There's something about this particular disco song that gets stuck in my head, which is strange because I am not much for disco or anything from the 70's. In any case, it is my morning ritual to listen to this particular song followed by "Danger Zone" from the "Top Gun" soundtrack as I make my breakfast. As such, I was not going to deviate from my morning ritual. No, I was going to go through with it especially because I needed it. Considering the strange event that befell me the day before, I'd say I deserved it.  
  
After rationalizing this, I began to move around my kitchen getting the different items required to make my usual scrambled eggs a la Stephie. I figured since today was going to be a long day I would further treat myself by making my rare cheesy eggs. Nodding to myself, I went to the refrigerator and grabbed the little packet of graded cheese and set it out by the milk and the eggs I would be using. However, before I could go through with the cooking process I was momentarily startled by the ringing of the phone. I nearly jumped out of my skin before I had the presence of mind to turn down the music and grab the receiver.  
  
"Hello?" I nearly squeaked.  
  
"Stephania, it's mom, I just wanted to call and make sure things were okay." My mother's heavy Brazilian accent sounded through the phone.  
  
"T-things are fine. Have y'all settled in well?" I asked, trying to steer away the conversation away from things on my end, as they included a wizard that technically didn't exist rooming in my living room, but of course she doesn't need to know that now does she?  
  
"Oh it was a long drive, but we're fine." She answered over the sounds of my step-father and little sister in the background.  
  
"That's good. Er ... mom, do you perchance know where know where that huge red and green comforter of yours is?" I asked, thinking that tonight Gilderoy would at least be warm, as opposed to the night before. I didn't have much in the way of blankets to offer him as my parents and sister had taken most of the bed linens and blankets we had.  
  
"It's in the garage up on the loft. Why? Don't you have your comforters?" She asked me.  
  
"Oh ... er ... well I need it because Eliza is coming over. Yesh, and I only have my one quilt to offer her." I had the presence of mind to come up with.  
  
"Oh, well of course she can use it. I am glad you've got a friend coming over. I still don't like the idea of you being alone for three weeks. Is she going to stay over all the weeks or do you have some of the other girls coming over?"  
  
"You don't need to worry, I won't be alone the whole three weeks." Well it was close to the truth wasn't it? I wouldn't be alone, but of course Gilderoy isn't exactly a girl so that's where the fib breaks down.  
  
"Oh good, but I had better go. I just wanted to make sure things are fine. Remember to keep things in order over there. I'll call again sometime soon."  
  
"When have I not kept things in order, mom? Don't worry." I told her, drumming my fingers on the kitchen counter.  
  
"I still worry, but okay. Bye." She said before hanging up.  
  
"Of course you'll still worry, and at this point I wouldn't blame you." I muttered as I placed the receiver back in it's proper place. I went over to the pantry beside the kitchen door, but instead of opening the pantry door to grab whatever it was that I had intended to grab, I sighed and leaned heavily against the kitchen door.  
  
*And here I was looking forward to a nice quiet and solitary three weeks. Oh well.*  
  
Suddenly the door behind me slid open and gravity pulled me down. I fell backwards heavily onto Gilderoy knocking him off his feet.  
  
"Ow! Cripes!" I groaned and sat up, rubbing the back of my head, wondering if I had a bruise or a bump.  
  
"Hello. It's a bit early for you to be throwing yourself at me, wouldn't you agree?" He smiled that smile and looked up at me, looking the picture of a swaggering peacock.  
  
I glared at him. "If you were to thick to notice, you opened the door that I was leaning against. I would hardly call that throwing myself at you. Even if I were stupid enough to go after vain and vapid types like you, I'd be a little more composed about it thank you very much." I told him scathingly and got to my feet, turning my back on him as I went again into the kitchen.  
  
I didn't look back at him so I couldn't say what expression he might have had, but I heard him come into the kitchen behind me. As I cracked the egg shells and placed the contents in my measuring cup to beat, I snuck a glance at him and could see he was busy looking around at the completely mundane things in my kitchen. I went back to my eggs and then took out my preferred frying pan and placed it on the stove and then placed some butter on it after turning on the fire. After doing that I then placed the beat eggs onto the pan and added some of the graded cheese.  
  
All the while I had been doing this I had felt his eyes suddenly on me. I turned as I went to place the measuring cup in the sink for washing and saw him observing me as I went about.  
  
"Did you need something?" I asked him, feeling very self conscious with him looking at me that way.  
  
"No, I was just wondering what you were doing." He said, still looking at me as I washed clean the measuring cup.  
  
"I'm simply making our breakfast." I told him, drying my wet hands on the blue towel hanging from the stove door.  
  
"Yes, but with no wand? Don't you know any of the useful household spells?" He asked, looking confused.  
  
I sighed. "Weren't you listening yesterday? You and magic do not exist. It's just a fantasy. This is the world of reality and we cannot do magic. There are no broomsticks that fly, no magic wands, no wizards, no apparating or disapparating, no charms or spells, no quidditch, and the like. It's all make believe. At least it was until you showed up in my closet of all places." I explained to him as I went back to the stove to stir the eggs.  
  
"Merlin's beard you can't be serious! No magic? None at all?" He asked me completely flabbergasted at the prospect.  
  
"You have a short term memory don't you? You are a character from a series of books. You and magic exist only in the books. In this world where I live, none of it is real. You are a manifestation from author J.K. Rowling's vivid imagination. Do you understand that?" I asked him in slow tones after I had explained it again.  
  
"I do understand, but it still doesn't make sense. If I am not real, how did I come to be here?" He asked, and I could see he was truly trying to understand.  
  
"I don't know Gilderoy, I really don't. I'm sorry." I said in a softer voice, for the first time thinking of him. He must really be feeling out of the loop after all, being spirited away from the world he called home only to be planted in a world that did not believe in his existence, or in the existence of magic.  
  
I looked away and finished my cooking and placed the eggs on two separate plates for the both of us and poured some milk for the two of us and took all of it to the table in the dining room. I went back and brought forks and napkins too and sat myself down beside him. We both began to eat in silence until he spoke up.  
  
"So, in this world, I'm not famous?" He asked.  
  
*Oh merlin!*  
  
"No, you are not." I sighed heavily and put my face in my hands.  
  
*This is going to be a long three weeks. I think I need to e-mail Eliza. No, this is too strange to try and convey in an e-mail, but she's as quirky as I am, she'd believe me right? Yes she would, if she actually saw him. So that quite puts sending an e-mail out of the question.*  
  
As I made a mental note to call my friend Eliza Brookson and tell her it was imperative that she come over, I thought at least she'd know I am not crazy, though I do doubt my sanity at times and especially times like these.  
  
*Well, I always wished for my life to be anything but dull and this is what I get. Lovely. I'll be more careful with my wishes in the future from now on.* 


	3. In Which A Temporary Solution Is Found

A/N: Ha! This is THE chapter where Scarlet Rurouni appears in my story! She cameo's in here along with her Vash The Stampede from the anime "Trigun". If you want to read her side of the story and her own situation with Vash emerging from her closet (where I'll be playing cameo's in her fic. Just go and look for the story: "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" which is a spin-off of this fic of mine. There will be more cameo's from Scarlet Rurouni (Eliza Brookson) in this fic just as I will appear in her fic a few more times. Enjoy!  
  
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An hour or so later found me cleaning up the breakfast dishes in the kitchen, with Gilderoy puttering about after me, wondering about my various "muggle" devices in the kitchen.  
  
"You know, you can make yourself useful, Gilderoy. Take that blue towel and dry these dishes I hand to you and set them there," I pointed, indicating the far corner of the kitchen counter beneath the overhead cabinets.  
  
He promptly gave me an expression that I swear could have said: "What? You expect me to do chores? The muggle way?" Of course, after one of my looks he just as promptly took up the blue towel and stood beside me.  
  
"Thank you, I really appreciate your volunteering to help me." I said, clearly enunciating the word "volunteering". He just glanced at me, somewhat flummoxed as he took the dish I handed to him.  
  
We worked in silence for a few minutes, him drying silently and me with my hands immersed in the sink scrubbing at the dishes while my eyes flitted to the window through which I could see the hazy morning and the rain pelting the glass. I sighed a little more contentedly than I had realized, but really I always loved rainy days. My eyes were still on the rain outside when I felt Gilderoy fumble beside me and heard a resounding CRACK as the cup he'd been drying slipped out of his hand and smashed on the floor.  
  
*Lovely, mother will definitely notice one less cup and I already broke two just last week.*  
  
I sighed and grabbed the towel from him to wipe my hands before I stooped down to pick up the shards.  
  
"Wait! I can put it back together, don't touch that glass!" Gilderoy said, pulling my arm to stop me picking it up as he reached in his robes for his wand.  
  
"Er, Gilderoy, the last time you used a spell it de-boned Harry's arm. Just let me handle this all right?" I suggested.  
  
"No, I can do this!" He responded, waving away my suggestion as he pointed his wand at the glass shards, clearly stating the incantation "Reparo" in his musical voice.  
  
I couldn't help myself, I stepped back and watched. His wand sparked and flashed slightly, and then emitted a whisp of mist, but yet the glass shards remained precisely that: shards. Gilderoy just stared at his wand, a slightly crestfallen expression on his face.  
  
"No, but- it should have worked!" He muttered and gave it another try only to have the same result.  
  
"You know, Gilderoy, that maybe because you are in a dimension that magic does not exist in, you won't be able to use that wand at all." I told him logically as I stooped down and picked up the pieces and put them in the trash bin under the kitchen counter.  
  
Before he or I could say anything more however, the doorbell sounded causing me to jump startled.  
  
"Who in the world could that be? No one visits me, ever. Oh, don't tell me it's another one of Carolina's pesky little friends." I muttered to myself, thinking of my ten year old half-sister's many annoying little friends. I pull open the door and to my surprise I find Eliza standing outside looking half drenched with a tall blond beside her. "Liz, hey! Wait a tick-" The greeting halts on my lips as I spy Liz's companion. Vash, from "Trigun" ... Vash The freakin Stampede was standing on my porch. "Oro?!" I gasp as I slip into my slight Kenshin tendencies due to Liz indoctrinating me in anime goodness, "Rurouni Kenshin" and "Trigun" to be precise.  
  
She noticed my confused expression. "Er... Stephie... I'll explain donut- boy if you let us in." She tells me as she looks back at Vash. "Hmmm, might want to duck your head to get in the door." She murmurs to him and then turns back to face me. "So yes... may we come in?" Liz then asked, with the most hopeful of looks.  
  
"Of course, please." Sheepishly I stood aside and as I let them enter, I could not stop myself from staring agog at Vash, the Donut Boy as he made to follow Liz inside. "Well, at least I am not the only one with the screwy closet then ..." I murmured softly to myself.  
  
"Thanks...?" Liz manages and finally notices Gilderoy in all his wizardly finery. "Er.... Stephie..." She looked back at me, possibly mirroring my same confused and flummoxed expression of a few moments before. "Does this mean I'm NOT the only insane one?"  
  
Ducking his head as he stepped through the doorframe, as it was just a bit too short for his seven foot two inch frame, Vash turned to Liz. "I thought we were going out for donuts?" He asked her, looking a little confused.  
  
"It certainly seems you're not the only insane one, as I seem to be in the same situation as you." I answered her earlier question, still staring at the Donut Boy, trying not to snort at what he'd said.  
  
*Yesh, that is DEFINITELY the Donut Boy for sure!*  
  
At this point, Gilderoy stood up and moved toward us. "Oh, do we have company? My name is Gilderoy Lockart, five time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile awa-" He managed to say before I cut him off, lightly smacking the back of his head as I did so.  
  
"Oh, shut it!" I ordered, giving the swaggering peacock one of my looks yet again before I continued in softer tones, "Yes, we do have company. This," I pointed to my friend, "is Eliza Brookson, otherwise known as Liz, and this is Vash." I finished, indicating the tall blond haired and aqua eyed man beside Liz.  
  
Liz took one look at Gilderoy, and promptly burst out laughing. "Oh... kami... that's great. You get Mr. 'Everyone-worship-me-for-I-am-oh-so- wonderful', and I get a donut crazed gunman!" She managed to get out after another fit of laughter.  
  
*Yes, it is quite amusing in a weird twisted sort of way, I suppose*  
  
Vash however, ignored Liz's last comment and slapped on his "oh-so-innocent- yet-friendly" smile. "It's nice to meet you! I'm... er... that is.." He began and stopped, looking as if he was thinking very hard.  
  
Liz gave Vash a quizzical look, and I admit I must have as well. Gilderoy however leaned back in the sofa listening intently.  
  
"My name's Eriks!" Vash declared, grinning widely.  
  
"Right. Why don't you just use "Valetinez Alkalenela Zeehock Sushira Boherez Gombigomela Blue Stradavari Tralentrent Pierre Andre Charttenhemos E'Vonnivitchi Baldos George Doitzel Kaizer the third." Liz snorted. I laughed and caught a most perplexed glance from the wizard beside me.  
  
"Or is that too long for the great and powerful "Vash the Stampede"?" Liz then asked, looking at him much like a laywer looks at the jury whom he or she wishes to persuade.  
  
"Don't trust me do you, Donut Boy? I mean to say I must look formidable I assume." I put forth, highly amused by the tete a tete between my friend and her favorite anime character.  
  
Gilderoy tapped me on the shoulder and chimed in with, "Well you actually are, believe it or not." I swiveled to face him. "Oh really? I wonder why that is? Hmm, is it because I haven't dropped to my knees and worshipped the ground you walk on? Is that it? Because if it is, that's not formidable, that's just common sense." I retorted, crossing my arms across my chest as I looked levelly into his blue eyes. Obviously seeing he would get nowhere, he promptly fell silent.  
  
Vash pouted and flopped onto one of my chairs. "Why is it that everyone knows my name here?"  
  
Giving him a sympathetic look, Liz moved to sit beside him. "Hey... look on the bright side! No double dollars... so no double dolar reward, right?" She told him and then grinned, "And not everyone knows you're name... besides, who cares so long as they're not trying to kill you, right?"  
  
Perking up a bit, Vash sat up straighter and asked, "Can we still have donuts?"  
  
"You really are obsessed, aren't you? Yeah, but later. Stephie and I need to talk." Liz told him after she'd snorted at that question.  
  
Fighting down giggles at Vash's very amusing obsession with donuts, I managed to say to my friend, "Yes, we certainly do."  
  
"Right." Liz, nodded and moved to get up from the couch, but was unable to move away. "Huh?" She asked with a confused look on her face.  
  
"Can't you talk out here?" Vash asked, keeping her from leaving.  
  
Liz softened her expression. "All right, here good for you Stephie?  
  
"Yes, here is fine." I nodded and settled back on the loveseat, very conscious of that fact that Gilderoy had sat himself down beside me. "Well, it's quite obvious our closets are plotting ugainst us, are they not?" I jested with a nervous laugh.  
  
"You know, I always wanted to meet this one," Liz grinned and tossed a sideways glance at Vash, "but I never expected he'd come out my ruddy closet! He knocked me over when he did too! I've been on the floor quite a bit recently."  
  
I couldn't help but smile softly at her words, thinking that my light red haired friend should consider putting together a comedy routine. "Well, I never expected this one to come out of my closet." I indicated Gilderoy, sighing a little. "You of course know who I would have loved to see emerge from my closet." I commented and was imediately assaulted by an image of precisely who I would have LOVED to have come in Gilderoy's place: Remus Lupin.  
  
Liz smirked, scrunching up her pert nose playfully. "Oh, poor Stephie doesn't get her wolf-boy."  
  
Vash glanced up sharply with an expression replete with confusion and curiosity."'Wolf-Boy'? did you mean Wolfwood? Is he here too??"  
  
Shaking her head, Liz turned to explain to him just who "wolf-boy" was. "No, sorry. No gun-toting priests in this reality. But we do apparently have one very egocentric wizard ..." She explained and trailed off eyeing Lockhart.  
  
"Yes, quite." I laughed warmly, brushing my wavy brown hair from my shoulder.  
  
"Is it my fault I have grown accustomed to being famous?" Gilderoy asked petulantly, seeing Liz eye him.  
  
*Who does he think he's kidding?*  
  
"Yes, it is your fault, because technically you wouldn't be famous if you weren't already trying to feed that ego of yours, or have you forgotten that your 'fame' is built on what everyone but yourself has done? Hmm?" I retorted, elbowing him in the ribs.  
  
"What do you mean? How can you possibly know anything about me?" He scratched his head, looking like he was thinking very hard.  
  
"Oh merlin ... " I closed my eyes and sighed for a moment. "You really are adled. Didn't I just explain all of this to you? Remember those books I showed you? They tell me all I need to know about you."  
  
"The books?" He thinks for a moment. "Oh! The books!"  
  
"Yes, the books oh-one-who-has-the-most-abysmal-memory-span." I fired back, all the while thinking that if Ron Weasley had ended up here I'd have been hard pressed whether to hex him or not for obliterating Gilderoy's memory.  
  
Liz snickered at Gilderoy and I, elbowing Vash as she did. "See? I know lots about you too! Only I get it from watching the show that you're a part of."  
  
"And what exactly do you know about me?" Vash asked, sitting up straighter and looking at her curiously.  
  
Liz grinned wickedly, "Oh plenty-" and goes on to count it off on her fingers. "Let's see, there's Wolfwood Milly and Meryl for starters ... then there's Rem and Knives ... you have an insaitiable appetite for donuts ... you call yourself "a hunter of peace, chaser of the elusive mayfly known as 'love' ... your personal motto is 'Love and Peace' ... and you're not exactly human." She finished cataloging and then paused a moment before asking with a triumphant smirk, "Did I miss anything?"  
  
I smiled as I listened to Liz catalog all that. I had to give her points, she sure knew her stuff, and here I had thought I was the only one obsessed enough to everything on any of my given favorite characters from "Harry Potter" and "The Lord of the Rings".  
  
Vash however looked completely shocked at the amount of information Liz knew on him. I nearly laughed out at his expression.  
  
However, I turned to Liz then, as we had digressed hopelessly from the situation at hand. "Well, as wonderful as our banter is, we need to figure out how to deal with our unexpected companions. We do have classes still and I have work."  
  
"Hmm, you're right. We can't very well leave these two home alone now can we?" She mused with a thoughtful look.  
  
"No, that we cannot." I remarked and tilted my head in Gilderoy's direction,"This one knows nothing of living a normal life without magic after all."  
  
Liz nodded just before she nearly jumped from her chair as I can only assume she'd been pelted with an idea. "Hey Vash? Did you study Earth history with Rem?"  
  
"Uh ... yeah. What for?" Was Vash the Donut Boy's reply  
  
"What if we left them somewhere together?" Liz asked me, resting her chin on her hand in thought.  
  
"Yes, but where? Here?" I inquired, wondering if there was a way to safety proof wherever it was that we choose to leave them.  
  
Liz sniggered, an evil grin lighting up her face."We could lock them back in one of our closets."  
  
"Yes, that is all well for you, but you've seen my closet, it's not exactly the lockable kind." I smirked. "Well, why don't we leave them here, as you do come out this way for school. On your way out you can have Donut Boy stay with Mr. Ego here."  
  
"That'll work. I just hope they can tolerate being together for that long ...." She sighed, obviously wondering how Vash will get along with an egotist like Lockhart.  
  
*I myself would like to see that in action.*  
  
"Yes, I'll cross my fingers while I am at work." I commented, inwardly thinking I'd be crossing more than just my fingers hoping this wasn't just a fiasco waiting to happen.  
  
"Me too ..." Liz responded, obviously thinking along similar lines. "But just to clarify," in completely serious tone of voice as she indicated Vash, "you CAN see him, right?"  
  
"Yes, of course I can see him. Wait, you can see him, can't you?" I asked her, gesturing to the wizard beside me.  
  
Liz nodded, "So, it's official then." She looked at Vash, and then back to me. "We've BOTH gone completely bonkers!"  
  
"Not just bonkers, I believe stark raving mad is a better way to describe this." I told her dryly, glancing at Gilderoy and Vash each in turn*  
  
"Quite right. just as long as we're clear on that then." Was Liz's response as she nodded wisely.  
  
"Yes, we're more than clear on that." I smirked.  
  
"What?!?!" Liz burst out, exasperated as Vash had just poked her several times.  
  
I cracked up laughing as the appropriately nicknamed Vash turned pleading eyes to her and asked, "Donuts?"  
  
Liz smacked herself upside head with exasperated amusement. "Fine! Yes! We'll go get your donuts!" She then turned her eyes to mine. "Sorry, but me and my hallucination here have to go on a donut run."  
  
"It's all right, I understand. He wouldn't be the Donut Boy without the donut run. In any case I need to get this one to a store. He is in sore need of normal type clothes and he is NOT wearing my step-father's clothes." I told her, feeling revulsion at the thought of handsome and dashing, however narcisstic and egocentric, Gilderoy in my disgusting step- father's clothes.  
  
"Hmmm ..." She eyed Vash, "We may need to go shopping for this one too... can't always go out in full "I'm a wanted outlaw, fear me!" attire now can we?" smirking at Vash's less than happy expression upon her mention of him getting new clothes. " Well, either way, we'd best be going." She said and stood up, motioning Vash to follow her.  
  
I smiled warmly and jumped up to open the door for them. "I would say come again soon, but I know you both are, so I think we'll skip that and just say instead have a good day."  
  
"It was pleasant to meet you both." Gilderoy smiling that innocuous and friendly smile of his.  
  
Liz grinned at me as she headed out the door. "You too." She looked at Lockhart, "Er ... yes ... nice to meet you as well." She responded, clearly still wary of him as I know for a fact she too has read the books and never truly liked his character.  
  
Vash grinned widely at us, not watching where he's going. "Yeah! Nice too meet y-" He was interrupted by the fact that he'd just smacked his head on the top of my door frame, having not paid attention to the fact that he is taller than the door itself.  
  
"Oh merlin! Are you all right, Vash?" I asked seriously concerned, channeling those Madam Pomfrey tendencies of mine.  
  
Vash groaned as he ducked UNDER the door. "Yeah ..."  
  
*Poor Vash, he'll sure feel that in the morning.*  
  
Shaking her head, half in sympathy and half in amusement, Liz coaxed, "Come on... buvarian chocolate cream filled donuts await-"  
  
"ALRIGHT!!!!!" Vash's eyes widened happily as he interrupted her midsentence.  
  
"Well have fun you two! Bye." I laughed merrily at his dorkiness.  
  
Vash waved happily as he followed Liz out into the rain, in search of new and improved donuts.  
  
"Bye!" Liz waved cheerily as she lead Vash away to the nearest donut shop.  
  
I grinned and closed the door and found Gilderoy just behind me, looking at me expectantly.  
  
"So when are we going shopping?" He asked, excitement just barely tinging his voice.  
  
*Note to self: get a huge bottle of tylenol and some relaxing herbal tea. Shopping is definitely not my forte.* 


	4. New Developments

A/N: Once again the story continues and more cameo goodness from Scarlet Rurouni (Eliza Brookson) and Vash the Stampede. Her side of the story is "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" so go and have a looksie. Enjoy this chapter and read and review please!  
  
Special thanks to crystalunicorn14 for following the story as she has. Kudos to ye girlie! I appreciates it much!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I opened my eyes and found myself sprawled on the couch, arm dangling over the edge and my bare feet hanging off the edge as well. I yawned quietly and shifted a little, my eyes settling on Gilderoy as he stood over me. I glanced at my watch and saw that several hours had gone by since Liz and Vash's visit and subsequent household duties.  
  
"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked, groggily sitting up in and couch and swinging my feet over the side. I could only imagine what I looked like, having napped for several hours.  
  
Gilderoy gazed at me for a moment, letting my question hang in the air. "You looked really exhausted, I didn't have the heart to wake you." He finally responded, his blue eyes taking in my slightly tousled hair and my tired eyes. "Besides if I did, you'd have probably given me a tongue lashing." He added, shrugging sheepishly.  
  
Surprisingly enough I laughed at that. "Actually, you'd be surprised to know I wouldn't have. If it's one thing I hate, it's napping through the day. As it is there's so few hours in the day in which to do all that I need to do and when I nap it takes away from time I would have otherwise spent productively." I told him, getting to my feet and making for my room to grab my brush to run it through my hair, when I noticed ...  
  
*Hmm ... that's odd ... *  
  
I stooped down by my bed and pushed my rubberware bin, that had been jutting out slightly from under my bed, all the way back.  
  
*That's strange, I'd thought I'd pushed it all the way back the other day ... *  
  
I stood and noticed that Gilderoy had followed me into my room, and as I glanced at him he averted his eyes and I had not the presence of mind to wonder why. Instead I went to my drawer and pulled out my brush and began to tame my wavy hair.  
  
"So, you didn't get into any trouble while I was sleeping?" I asked him amid my brushing, turning my gaze to him as I spoke.  
  
Again he shifted his eyes. "N-not at all. I spent my time out on your porch and had an amusingly one sided conversation with your pet cat." He responded, moving to my desk to finger my stained glass rose lamp.  
  
"I would think you'd be used to one sided conversations, as most of the conversations you've had revolved around you." I remarked dryly, putting away my brush. He smiled at me for a moment or two before the meaning hit on him, at which point the smile evaporated in the blink of an eye. As he looked back into my eyes I suddenly felt a little sorry for my words. "Though, I'm sure Patches didn't mind at all, as she usually listens to my mindless rambling most of the time." I added in a softer voice. He nodded, his lips just barely curving into a smile.  
  
I smiled back just a little reassuringly and glanced at my watch again. "What do you say to an early dinner since I slept through lunch?" I asked him.  
  
"Sounds divine." He smiled roguishly.  
  
*Focus on dinner, not the smile. Stephie! Focus! Dinner! Now!*  
  
"All right, let me get to work cooking then." I said leaving my room and heading to the kitchen with him following behind me.  
  
*Hmm, what to cook? Let's see ... there's Spaghetti-O's ... but no that won't do. Why not go gourmet?*  
  
I pawed through the pantry and found some pasta, sauce, and sweet bread. I then wondered if we had any strawberries and sparkling cider in the house. If I was going to go gourmet for the evening, why not go all out? I glanced around in the refrigerator and surely enough we had a small carton of strawberries and a bottle of sparkling cider that I'd bought just for the heck of it three days before. I smiled a small smile and happily set out all the items on the counter and donned my kitchen apron as I set to work boiling water for the pasta.  
  
"Why don't you go and sit down somewhere. I can't have you piddling about here in the kitchen as it'll distract me and besides, I get nervous having people watch me as I work." I said as softly as I could and tried to convey that he should make himself comfortable. He gave me a look as if to say "All right, if you insist" before the ring of the phone caused us both to jump. I reached over and picked up the receiver before it could ring a second time, as Gilderoy looked at me wonderingly.  
  
"Hello?" I squeaked as per usual when it came to my answering the phone.  
  
"Stephie? It's Liz." Came a familiar voice on the other end.  
  
"Oh, hello Liz. How are you?" I asked, leaning against the counter most happy to hear a friendly and familiar voice, as Gilderoy continued to stare at me.  
  
"Tired, and you?" Liz asked me.  
  
"Same. It's quite strange having a wizard staying here, especially one that is addled and yet very egocentric at the same time." I sighed and nearly laughed at the look I got from the wizard.  
  
"Yes ... and having a rather ... energetic gunman about the house makes for some 'interesting' times." Liz remarked, and I swear I almost heard her smirk through the phone. "Anyway ... the reason I called was I was wondering... have you gotten Lockhart clothes yet?" She went on to ask me.  
  
I sighed miserably. "No, I haven't yet. I was planning on going tomorrow. Why?"  
  
"Because I haven't either ... and I was just thinking that Lockhart might be a bit more of a handful than Vash ... at least donut-boy's read about earth and lived without magic." Liz explained.  
  
I laughed and cradled the phone closer. "Yes, he certainly will be a handful. Not only does he not know anything about "muggles" but he's also got that horrible short term memory."  
  
"Well, what do you say we go shopping together then? I'll help you keep and eye on the wizard ... and you can help me keep the fiend away from the donut stand!" Liz offered chuckling.  
  
"Yes, that sounds fairly fabulous. You do realize, that you've quite made my day don't you?" I smiled widely at the offer, knowing I would have had a rough time of it alone.  
  
*Thank the world for small miracles.*  
  
"No Vash! I am NOT ordering donuts over the phone!" I heard her say to, obviously to Vash as he was the only one at her house who had a propensity to go crazy where donuts where concerned. "Yes, I'm sure. So, tomorrow then, at the mall?" Liz said this time to me.  
  
I laughed, wishing I could see what was going on over on Liz's end. "Sounds perfect, what time?" I asked her after I'd stopped laughing and composed myself.  
  
She paused a moment before she said, "How about around 12:00? Then we can have lunch and such as well."  
  
"Fairly fabulous! It's a plan then." I grinned.  
  
"OH! Where shall we meet? The mall's a fairly large place you know." Liz had the presence of mind to ask me.  
  
"How about in front of the Disney Store on the second floor?" I suggested, thinking that was favorite store and a perfect kick off to a day spent shopping with Gilderoy. As I said, shopping is not my forte.  
  
"Sounds fabulous ... so we'll meet there around 12:00 then?" Liz confirmed.  
  
"Yesh, Disney Store at noon. Fabulous-" I tried to say as Gilderoy cut me off.  
  
"What is that and why are you talking to it?" He asked me, trying to get at the phone.  
  
"Uh, I'd better go. See you then, Liz. Say hello to Vash for me." I said to Liz as I batted at the addled wizard's hands as he tried to grab the phone.  
  
Liz laughed heartily. "Alright. See you tomorrow then! OH! And good luck with Lockhart! Bye!"  
  
I dodged Gilderoy and managed to say goodbye before hanging up. "That my friend is a telephone and it enables you to speak with someone much like using a fireplace in your world, excepting you talk into this and the person on the other end can hear you and not see you. All you do is dial a particular number for whoever it is you wish to speak to and they'd have to be at home to be able to answer the phone. However, rule number one: NEVER interrupt me when I am using the phone!" I explained, putting the receiver back in it's proper place.  
  
"I'll remember that. Any other rules I should know of?" He asked me, giving me a jaunting and winning smile yet again.  
  
*D'arvit, why does he have to do that?!*  
  
"No, not at this moment so push off! I have to make our dinner. Go outside on the porch or go stare at yourself in my mirror or something until I've got dinner ready." I retorted, setting the water to boil and the sauce to heat.  
  
"All right, keep your apron on." He muttered as he left the kitchen.  
  
*Finally! One less distraction. Now I can get to work as dinner doesn't cook itself.*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Gilderoy mused to himself as he left the kitchen to head to Stephania's room.  
  
*What is it about me that irks her so? Am I not charming? Am I not handsome? What more could she want of me? Wait, why does it matter to me?*  
  
He shook his head as he stood in the middle of her small but quaint room. As he looked around the room he could tell something of her personality from the room. There was the lovely little stained glass rose lamp, the little antique music box of sorts, stuffed animals and candles at various points in the room, and a bedspread of flowers and butterflies. Also judging by how warm and kind she was when those two friends of hers visited, he'd come to the conclusion that Stephania was quite sweet and friendly. However, that did not explain her behavior towards him. She was ... flinty is the word.  
  
Gilderoy sighed and stooped down to pull out her rubberware bin, and as he had earlier that day he pawed through the contents to find the book he'd started reading. At first it had been a mere curiosity, but now it was more. He needed to know everything she knew and know what it was that made her so flinty towards him.  
  
Picking out "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" he turned to the chapter he'd book marked earlier that day and read on.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
*There! Finished!*  
  
I stood back to admire my handiwork. I'd set the dining room table with a clean green table cloth and set a few candles at strategically chosen points. I'd also set out my mother's fine china and set the pasta and sauce in two ivory bowls, along with the strawberries and sweet bread on a crystal platter. The final touch were the two goblets I procured at a renaissance several years before which had been filled with some of the sparkling cider I loved so much.  
  
*Not bad, Stephie, you domestic weirdo you. Hmm, now to call Mr. Ego to dinner.*  
  
I removed my apron and made my way out to the living room and looked around and saw my bedroom light on and the door closed. Frowning I walked over and made to knock on the door out of courtesy, even though it was my room and he hadn't asked to use it.  
  
"Gilderoy, dinner's ready." I wrapped on the door.  
  
"All right, c-coming!" I heard him say and heard a little scuffling and scrambling around.  
  
"What are you doing in there?" I asked, tempted to just fling open the door and catch him at whatever it was he was doing.  
  
"N-nothing, really!" He answered just seconds before he opened the door, standing tall.  
  
"Why do I not believe you?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes and putting my hands on my hips.  
  
"I haven't the foggiest." He replied, averting his eyes and stepping out of my room.  
  
"Hmm, well in any case as I said dinner's ready." I told him, wondering why he'd averted his eyes in such a guilty fashion but deciding not to question him further.  
  
Instead I sighed, turned, and lead him to the dining room where I gestured for him to seat himself down. He however had other plans, as he gallantly pulled out a seat for me. I was momentarily taken aback at his almost chivalrous gesture.  
  
"Thank you." I said, sitting down and looking back up at him.  
  
"You're most welcome, Stephania." He smiled.  
  
"Please, just call me Stephie. Everyone does." I told him, laying my napkin across my lap.  
  
"Stephie, then, and what a lovely dinner, thank you." His blue eyes lit on mine.  
  
*Why is it that my name sounds so much lovelier when he says it? No! Wait! Hold the trolley! Not happening!*  
  
"Heh ..." Was my response as I reached for my goblet, wishing I had opted for absynthe in place of the cider ... 


	5. Technical Difficulties

The next morning after Gilderoy and I had finished our breakfast and I'd tidied the kitchen to my neat standards, I went to dress for today's adventure: shopping.  
  
*Deep breath, Stephie. You can do it. Just breathe in and out.*  
  
I then opened my closet and began to sift through it for something appropriate to wear. After several minutes I sighed and just pulled at random. The result: blueish crinkled mesh skirt and a blue Roxy t-shirt.  
  
*Pheh. It'll do. When have I ever had fashion sense anyway?*  
  
I changed into the clothes and grabbed my jean jacket, grey flannel scarf, and my purse. I was ready to go. Of course however, when I stepped out into the living room where Gilderoy sat patiently waiting for me, I realized that he was not. I took one look at his wizard finery and mentally thwapped myself with a herring.  
  
*He'll definitely attract a whole lot of attention going out in that. Of course he'll be used to it, but I certainly won't and this will not do. No, it won't.*  
  
"Gilderoy, we need to do something about your wear." I finally said, my eyes taking in the periwinkle blue robes over matching colored blazer and trousers. I supposed the rest of the outfit was fine, but the robe had to go. "Would you mind terribly if I asked you to ditch the robe?" I asked, tugging at the material lightly.  
  
"Ditch?" He gave me a confused glance.  
  
*Stephie you baka! Of course he wouldn't know "muggle" slang!*  
  
"I meant would you mind not wearing that on this outing? It's ... not the kind of thing muggles are used to seeing, that's all." I explained.  
  
"B-but ... it completes the ensemble! I won't look as dashing without it." He burst, looking almost scandalized.  
  
*Stephie, count to ten. One ... two ... three ... wait- brilliant idea! I'll use reverse psychology or some such thing on him!*  
  
"I cannot believe I am even going to say this, but you would actually look more," I said laying a delicate stress on the word, "dashing without it."  
  
He looked at me, honestly thinking it out. "Really? Well, if you put it that way," He slipped it off him and draped it over the seat he'd been sitting in, "I'll do as you suggest."  
  
"Lovely, now let's move it. We've a bus to catch." I directed, pulling him by the arm towards to door, closing it and locking it behind me.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
We made it to the bus stop over twenty minutes later because Gilderoy just had to stop and look at everything we passed on the street. I immediately sat down on the bench, thanking the powers that be that is was a hazy chill morning, else I'd be sitting there squinting in the annoying California sun. I glanced up to tell Gilderoy to sit down when I saw him take his wand from the folds of his blazer and stick his arm out.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked him, hoping no one was watching us.  
  
"Well, to summon the Knight Bus you stick out your wand arm, right?" He returned, glancing up and down the busy street curiously, waiting for the violently purple double decker bus to magically appear.  
  
"Gilderoy, how many times do I have to tell you, MAGIC DOES NOT EXIST HERE! Besides, we're in America and not England, and since we're in the world of reality, we do it the muggle way. We ride public buses." I explained, standing up to take the wand from his hand and tuck it back in his blazer, all the while thinking I should have asked him to leave it at home.  
  
"Well how do you summon it then?" He asked, giving me a skeptical look.  
  
"You don't, that's the point. You sit here on this bench," I tugged him down to sit beside me, "and wait for it to come at the appointed time. You see, these buses run on a schedule, every fifteen or so minutes one comes along to pick up passengers. As such, we must sit here and wait, hopefully not for too much longer." I finished explaining patiently, tugging my scarf closer around my neck.  
  
"Oh, right." He responded, still looking up and down the street obviously amazed at the noise and all the cars and such.  
  
*And this is the suburb. Imagine how much crazier it would be if we were in the heart of L.A.*  
  
Before I could say anything a tall blonde passed by wearing a flimsy halter top, that actually was more of a bra than anything else, and tight hip hugging jeans almost in defiant protest to the crisp weather. A glance at Gilderoy and I saw him goggling at the girl as she swished by.  
  
He then turned to me with wide eyes. "This is what muggle girls wear?"  
  
"Sadly, yes." I grumbled, thankful for my odd fashion sense that left me fully covered.  
  
"Leaves nothing to the imagination ..." He murmured, wondering why he suddenly had more appreciation for the choice of attire of the young lady beside him.  
  
Even if I had chosent to comment to that I could not as the bus we'd been waiting for roled to a stop before us. I leapt up and grabbed the wizard's arm, dragging him with me inside where I payed for both our fares and quickly pulled him with me to the back of the bus.  
  
"Wow, this IS different from the Knight Bus. It's not as roomy and comfortable." He commented looking around.  
  
"What it lacks in comfortability it makes up for in time and efficiency. You'll come to find it's much safer to ride in one of these than the Knight Bus, as you manage to actually STAY," I emphasized the word, "in your seat during the ride." I smirked as the bus rolled away from the stop.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I have to admit, you were right. It is much safer to ride in one of these." Gilderoy remarked as he and I got off the bus at the entrance to the mall, where there were already loads of people bustling about.  
  
"Told you." I grinned and took his arm and lead him inside, dodging many of the christmas shoppers as I did.  
  
*It's quite insane how early people start shopping for christmas.*  
  
I gritted my teeth and walked purposefully forward, pulling the wizard with me.  
  
"What's the rush? What's wrong with a leisurely stroll through here?" Gilderoy asked me, loooking about at everything and clearly not enjoying being dragged.  
  
"Gilderoy, leisure is a luxury I do not have. Furthermore, you don't stroll in a mall, you speed walk. Malls are tools of the dark side. You don't want to spend anymore time in here than you have to." I told him, yet slowing my speed walking down just a little and lessing my hold on his arm.  
  
He didn't say anything as he was too fascinated by the displays, crowds of people, and all the shops. I almost smiled a small smile.  
  
*Yesh, I suppose he's entitled to be fascinated by it. Don't ruin it for him with your jaded attitude Stephie, just this once, play nice.*  
  
I slowed my pace and decided to let him look around as we walked. I answered his questions patiently and pointed different things out as we made our way to the elevator just down the way on the left. We paused in front of the doors and I pushed the up button and tapped my foot a couple times.  
  
"Were you the spawn of a clock or something?" He asked me, eyeing my feet.  
  
I made myself stop tapping. "Ha, very funny. No, I just don't like being in malls that's all and again I remind you, I cannot stand not being productive. I suppose I am driven by schedules, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but I suppose it can get annoying." I replied, sighing in relief as the elevator doors opened to admit us.  
  
I stepped inside and gestured for him to follow, and then I pushed the button for the second floor. Leaning back against the wall, I felt this wasn't so bad, I could do it, but of course that was before it happened ...  
  
Almost halfway to the second floor the elevator suddenly stopped and dropped a foot or two, the lights flickering off and then back on.  
  
*Uh oh ...*  
  
As soon as the lights appeared to stay on, I hastily jabbed the second floor button. Nothing happened. I pushed it again. Still nothing. I then pushed the call button, but nothing happened. I pushed it again, and the elevator shifted and dropped again. I squeaked and grabbed at the railing.  
  
"Aww mittens ..." I squeaked, glancing at Gilderoy.  
  
"Er ... what just happened?" He asked me, looking a little spooked.  
  
I bit my lip, the panic button in my head switching on. "Technical difficulties?" I laughed nervously.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
---- Half an hour later ----  
  
"Stephie, you're starting to scare me. You've pushed all of those ... er ... button things nearly a hundred times." Gilderoy gazed at me just a little worried.  
  
I didn't say anything, I pushed the buttons a few more times and then just growled and took to pacing, bitting my lip and wringing my hands.  
  
"Er, Stephie?" He eyed me tentatively.  
  
"What?" I snapped.  
  
"Pacing isn't going to help either. If anything, it'll drive both of us mad." He said, pleading me with his eyes to sit down. "Fine." I sat myself down and leaned against the opposite wall from him. "Any suggestions as to what we can do?"  
  
"No." Was his reply.  
  
*Merlin help me! I suppose I could just count sheep and hope that the power or whatever it was would sort itself out. Well here goes ... one sheep ... two sheep ... three sheep ... four sheep ..*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
---- Half an hour later ----  
  
*D'arvit! Stupid ruddy sheep! If I so much as live through this and see a sheep, I will smite it!*  
  
"Stephie?" Gilderoy spoke up, breaking the half hour of silence.  
  
"Yes?" I grumbled.  
  
"I think silence should be added to the list of things that will drive us both mad." He said.  
  
"Well what do you suggest?" I retorted.  
  
"A game?" He pleaded.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
---- An hour later ----  
  
"Uno!" He said with glee.  
  
"You ruddy cheat!" I hissed, slapping down my cards.  
  
"I am not, you're just a sore loser." He grinned.  
  
"Whatever. I demand a rematch. You're going down. Down I tell you!" I shuffled the cards.  
  
"You're on." He smiled rogueishly.  
  
*Lucky I had my pint sized deck of cards.*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
---- Another hour later ----  
  
"Truth: most embarassing moment?" I stared shrewdly at him, pursing my lips.  
  
*What can I say? Uno got tiring, especially because I kept losing. Now how sad is that? I lost to a wizard who never even knew of the game until an hour ago!*  
  
"Hmm. A failed switching spell. Picture handsome me with a rat's head and tail." He finally said after thinking a few moments. I had to laugh at that. "Truth: what do you most fear?" He then asked me, as it was his turn.  
  
I thought for a few moments and decided to go with one of my more trivial fears. "Insects, any shape or form or type. They all are quite scary to me." I told him and then thought of what I could ask of him. "Truth: what do you most fear?" I know it was a repetition of the question, but I was curious. "Rejection." He answered simply. I looked down at my hands when he'd said that.  
  
*Guess we're not so different after all ...*  
  
"Question: what is it about me that irks you?" He asked, uncharacteristically serious.  
  
I gazed at him, quite taken aback. What brought that up? How was I to answer that? I looked down and wondered if I could even say.  
  
"You just remind me of someone. Someone I was fool enough to have feelings for. He was an egoist and played games with me. I of course lost, being the flaming fool I was." I finally said bluntly.  
  
Gilderoy looked at me long and hard. It was quite unnerving really. I soon felt myself growing self conscious. "If anything, he is the flaming fool." He finally spoke, his voice soft and musical.  
  
Before I could even respond, even if I could have formulated a response being so surprised as I was, the elevator jolted and then rose a few feet and the doors opened to reveal the second floor. I sat there stunned for a moment before the doors started to close at which point I leapt up and grabbed Gilderoy's arm and hurtled out of the ruddy cage on wires before it trapped us again.  
  
"Ha! We're out! We're out! THANK MERLIN!" I said with joy and did a little dance while Gilderoy looked on at me, barely hiding his amused smile.  
  
"Mittens! We need to meet Liz and Vash!" I grabbed his arm once again and took off running to the front of the Disney Store a little ways away where I spotted the two easily. I rushed up to Liz just as she spotted me and rushed over as well.  
  
"You'll never believe what just happened to me!" We said in unison. 


	6. Of Comfort and Sprinkles

A/N: Hullo! Finally I am out with the next chapter. The awaited shopping expedition! Now this is where I highly advocate and shout it out that y'all read Scarlet Rurouni's "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" because we've switched characters for this chapter. I will be doing the next chapter from Lockhart's POV but if you want the make the wait less unbearable read her fic because she has the chapter out already where she is shopping with Lockhart. This chapter is Vash and I. Vash is from the anime "Trigun" just FYI.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You'll never believe what happened to me!" Liz and I cried in unison.  
  
"What happened to me? What happened to you?" we both asked, in what I was sure the same curious expression.  
  
"We got stuck in an elevator!"  
  
*Gah! We're doing it again! I swear she and I are twins. No matter that we don't look anything alike.*  
  
"Us too!"  
  
*Feh! That means we both spent three hours trapped in a claustrophic trap of death with our fictional visitors. No way! She got the better end of the deal with the Donut Boy!*  
  
"Really?"  
  
*Meep! This twin thing is way to weird!!*  
  
"Stop THAT !!!!!!" we still cried in unison. I couldn't help it. Neither could she. We both burst out laughing at the whole thing. It was quite hilarious. Though, in the midst of my laughing I noticed Vash in complete shock, his mouth agape.  
  
"What the hell was that?" He asked incredulously to Gilderoy, as if imploring for some assurance he hadn't fallen in with two lunatics.  
  
If anything, Gilderoy looked equally as flummoxed, if not more. "I haven't the foggiest."  
  
That of course just caused me to laugh more.  
  
*Poor guys. It was quite strange, I admit.*  
  
"Maybe it's some kind of weird code." Vash seemed to mutter to himself, looking a little thoughtful. Gilderoy however, just stood there still in the utmost confusion.  
  
*This is too much. This almost makes up for those three hours in the elevator.*  
  
"Er.. Stephie... I think we should save the explanations for later." Liz suggested, her eyes on the two men, her expression slightly concerned for them.  
  
"Yesh, I do believe you are right. Well, since most of the day has been wasted because of those ruddy elevators, maybe we should just start the shopping." I said, trying VERY hard to stifle any sighs that I knew were lurking inside me.  
  
*Stephie, you knew this was coming anyway. Go with the flow here.*  
  
"Yes, maybe we should start with something simple... like shirts or some such?" Liz suggested after a pause.  
  
"Sounds perfect, put off the harder task for later." I remarked, thinking pants had always been the hardest part of shopping for me.  
  
"Right then, where to first?" Liz asked nodding. She took a cursory glance around at the various stores around the immediate vicinity. I too glanced around, and had to take a deep breath for a moment. There were just so many people and so crowded. Just looking at it made me a little ... wary. "Well, er ..." I closes my eyes for a moment and opened them, "maybe we can go look at the directory thingie that lists all the stores?"  
  
Liz frowned slightly. "Perhaps we should start off with the more major stores... such as 'Pennys?"  
  
"Sounds fine to me. Let's lock and load." I returned, taking a breath before turning towards the aforementioned store,  
  
Next to Liz, Vash muttered something under his breath that caused Liz to turn to him and say something back that I didn't quite catch.  
  
"Oro?" I asked, turning to glance over my shoulder at them.  
  
"Nothing. Let's go." Liz answered with a grin and making to drag Vash along.  
  
"Hey! Can't you be a little more gentle?" he cried in what I could tell was a playful mocking tone.  
  
I laughed warmly. "Well, let's get moving. " I said and took up Gilderoy's arm and began to lead him as well to the nearby store. As we walked together I could feel myself tensing but I could see that Gilderoy was far from sharing my feelings. I could see he was completely enthralled with the mall and everything in it. His eyes were darting to every person and all the different store front windows and the displays.  
  
Upon our arrival in the store, I took to immediately perusing the shirt racks. The sooner the job was done the sooner we all could leave after all. "Well let's see ... shirts ... hmm" I looked around and then spotted the Dockers section and grabbed a few simple button down blouses at random, looking at the tags wondering which size would fit Gilderoy before I handing them to him.  
  
"Take a look at these. " I murmured, placing the shirts towards in his hand before I went on looking around at random.  
  
"Stephie, I do believe you are mistaken. I would never be caught wearing such unfashionable clothes." I heard him say behind me and I immediately tensed.  
  
"Excuse me?" I asked him in a quiet but deadly voice.  
  
*I was a fool to not realize this was coming. Stephie, why oh why do you set yourself up like this?*  
  
"How am I to look handsome and dashing in ..." Gilderoy held the shirts away from him as if they would contaminate him, "these?"  
  
*Merlin! I will smite him and I will smite him well!*  
  
"Gilderoy ... we've been through this before. The whole point of this little expedition was to find you muggle things so you wouldn't stick out. Do not undermine the plan. I've been stuck in an elevator for three hours with you and we still have to shop in this blasted mall and I really want to get out of here as quick as possible. Work with me here." I said again in that fiercely quiet whisper.  
  
He look at me, his expression pained as if I was putting him through torture and he would be traumatized for life. "B-but ... still ... even when you say muggle I am sure some dress sharp and keen. "  
  
"When they can ACTUALLY afford it. I am a poor college student!!" I retorted, barely aware of the fact that I was enunciating every word with clear tones. This in itself is significant because I always talk in a rush and never manage to make much sense half the time.  
  
I was also suddenly aware of someone tapping me slightly on the shoulder. "Erm... Stephie?"  
  
"Yes?" I responded, turning to Liz, whom I have to be quite honest and say that I barely realized she and Vash were still there.  
  
"Perhaps I should take Lockhart shopping for you?" She suggested, sending a glance Vash's way, "You wouldn't mind follow Stephie around for a bit would you?"  
  
"Sure!" he replied, his voice replete with overly cheery tones.  
  
*Is it just me or was he disappointed? He almost looked like he would rather not.*  
  
"So what do you think?" Liz asked, turning back to face me.  
  
"Er ... I don't think Vash is happy with the idea and besides I feel bad ... I can do this ... really ..." I said, aware that I was being really overactive about it all.  
  
*Come on Stephie, get with it. Don't ruin it for everyone else.* She snorted and rewarded me with a look that told me she didn't buy a word of it. "Right. Trust me... you were about to rip the poor man to shreds. I'll take him off your hands for.. oh.. an hour?"  
  
"Shreds?" I responded, crossing my arms across my chest with a smirk, "And here I declawed my fangs just the other day ... odd." I shrugged and lifted my eyes to hers, "If you insist, you may, but seriously I can do it."  
  
"One hour!" She took Gilderoy's arm. "Front of the Disney Store! Bye!" Liz called over her shoulder as she lead Gilderoy away.  
  
"By then, I suppose." I responded, faintly aware that my hand had lifted of it's own accord to wave goodbye even though they could not see it. I then sighed a small sigh and turned to Vash.  
  
"So, it's just us then. So, shirts first?" I said, presenting a tentative small smile.  
  
He glanced at me, his expression telling me he was trying to be cheery. "Eh heh ... yeah."  
  
"I can tell you're not one for shopping, well neither am I, to tell you the truth." I told him candidly, standing a little more at ease.  
  
He sighed with relief. "Good... for a minute I thought you might be one of those girls that gets all crazy whenever they go shopping."  
  
"Merlin no, I'd gag long before that." I laughed warmly.  
  
*Maybe this won't be so bad after all*  
  
He actually offered me a smile when he said, . "Well then... guess we'd better get started."  
  
"Well, we can start by getting shirts for you. I suppose you would be a large. What color do you fancy?" I sifted through a display of shirts and held out a few different colored ones to him.  
  
"I kinda like those..." He answered me, pointing to three shirts, one red, one black, and one white. I smiled a warm smile.  
  
*Of course he would like the red one. Rem ... and her red geraniums.*  
  
"Wonderful taste, I say. The changing room is right over there aways" I told him and pointed to a door against the wall behind him, "so go and see if they fit right."  
  
"Do I really have too?" He pouted, almost hoping I would tell him no and that would be that.  
  
I placed my hand over his in a reassuring gesture. "Trust me, I hate that part of shopping too, but it would be a waste of time and money if you just bought those without knowing if they fit or not."  
  
He looked at me and just sighed "Alright." He seemed whined, taking the shirts from my hands and heading for the changing room. I watched him go and thought to myself I was just as out of place as he was.  
  
*Though, you don't necessarily have an excuse like he does. Sucks to be you.*  
  
I exhaled and turned my gaze to the passersby. In my immediate field of vision was a family. A father in the prime of his life with a comely looking wife on his arm and a teenaged boy and girl. My eyes lingered on them as they walked right past me, absorbed in their world of warmth and togetherness. I stood transfixed by the sight.  
  
"Dad, what do you think I should get for Gran?" The young girl asked, looking up at her father with trusting eyes, security bourne in her expression.  
  
"Maybe a knit sweater. She liked the one you gave her last year after all." Her father answered her, a kind and benign smile on his face.  
  
I felt myself breathe in and out forcibly. I closed my eyes and turned away from them. Instead I looked upon the display rack before me, laden with shirts of many textures and colors. I ran my hand along the fleece neck of one particularly fine storm grey sweater.  
  
"Si seulement ... if only ..." I whispered softly, my heart tight.  
  
*Stephie, it's only an illusion. Don't do it. Don't. Focus. Clothes for Vash. That is what you're here for.*  
  
"They fit fine I guess... anything else?" Vash asked me, suddenly appearing at my side once more.  
  
I wasn't expecting that. I jumped a foot in the air and squeaked as per usual. I must have given him one of my looks that said "Don't-Sneak-Up-On- Me-Like-That-Ever-Again!" because he gave me a slightly apologetic expression.  
  
"W-well ... we need to get you pants and then shoes later." I responded, trying not to stammer.  
  
*Focus and stay on planet earth and you won't look like a ruddy dear caught in headlights.*  
  
"Well... the sooner we do this the sooner we'll be done, right?" He returned, his demeanor conveying that he was trying to be friendlier and kinder for my benefit.  
  
*D'arvit! I don't need that. I need him to be himself. It'll make me feel less weird if he just does that.*  
  
"Vash, I know you don't like shopping that much so don't feel the need to be overly cheery about it. Be yourself, please." she said with a smile as she handed me a few pairs of pants.  
  
"I swear ... you and Liz MUST be related." He jested, a real genuine Wolfwood worthy smile crossing his lips this time around.  
  
*Oh Wolfwood, too bad you aren't here to see that ...*  
  
Once he'd gone I resolved not to pay too much attention on any one of the passersby. I'd learned my lesson. No need to get introspective on this shopping excursion after all ...  
  
*D'arvit ... why?*  
  
This time it was a younger married couple and a five year old little girl. The little girl was just so ... carefree and happy ... and her parents were so warm ...  
  
*Why am I so cold? I'm so cold.*  
  
"I'm not doing this again! No." I muttered to myself, but yet continued to gaze off.  
  
"Whatcha lookin' at?" Vash asked, this time letting his footfalls warn me of his approach and tapping me softly on the shoulder.  
  
"Oh, nothing ... so, they fit?" I said, averting my gaze to the pants he was holding.  
  
He looked at the pants and then back at me. I could tell he didn't buy it. "They fit fine... but you looked like you were pretty deep in thought there." He grinned, "You know... it's not good to keep things bottled up." I grinned at that. "Ha! I see what you are doing. You're returning the favor, eh?"  
  
"Er.... what are you talking about?" He looked properly confused.  
  
*Aparently he didn't see that he was doing exactly what I had done to him, seeing through the facade and confronting it. Ah well, he is the needle noggin' after all.*  
  
I laughed. "Never mind. I was just watching the people ... the families ..." my voice trailed off as I gazed off again.  
  
He too gazed in the direction, looking past me to the people. "Yeah ... I think I know what you mean ..."  
  
I glanced up at him and if I had been an anime character, my eyes would have been glistening just then. "Yes, you would." I murmured in a soft voice.  
  
*So much pain ... must shake it off ...*  
  
"Well, shall we be getting on then?" I asked, plastering a smile on my face and intending to hang on for dear life.  
  
"Now who's being 'overly cheery'?" He asked me, a smirk lighting up his face.  
  
This is one of those moments, that had I again been an anime character, a huge sweatdrop would have appeared right over me and I would have laughed nervously and put my arm behind my head. "Eh heh ... w-well ... shoes then?"  
  
"Sure." He shook his head at me, clearly amused.  
  
As he followed me out of the store, I glanced up and down the way and then spotted the nearest shoe store. I gestured to show that would be our next stop. Once inside, a challenge was posed to me.  
  
*Hmm, well let's see here ...*  
  
"I don't know your shoe size, so try these on and see if they are snug. They look like they could fit you nicely." I told him in one breath in an almost sing song voice as I pulled off a pair and handed them to him.  
  
"Whoa ..." He breathed, his eyes wide, and I knew exactly why.  
  
"Ha! It worked! I couldn't very well have the two of us so introspective, so I resorted to 'Millie Tactics 101' ..." I laughed merrily and mentally thanked the anime powers that be for that particulary sweet and oh so peppy character.  
  
*Millie, you and I would have been best buds!*  
  
"Eh heh..." He just continued to stare at me. "You know, I think you and the big girl would get along great." He told me.  
  
"Yes, that we would indeed." I laughed again, as he and I were thinking along the same lines.  
  
He bent down to tie the boot laces, muttering, "I'm not sure I can get used to this ..." as he did.  
  
"What was that? I heard you say something." I commented in a sing song voice again.  
  
"Nothing." He smiled, deflecting the subject. "They fit fine."  
  
"You're doing it again. Tsk tsk ..." I sang, crossing my arms.  
  
He quirked an eyebrow at me. "Doing what now?"  
  
I glanced down at him and answered him honestly. "That cheerily disarming smile of yours ... I do believe Wolfwood commented upon it before.  
  
"So I guess everyone here knows about that" He murmured, a small smile on his lips once again.  
  
I sat down and decided to explain the dynamics. "Well, not everyone per se. Just the people who've watched the anime, really."  
  
"Oh ... so you and Liz have seen it then?" He asked curiously.  
  
"Yes. Liz was the one who introduced me to the anime. I recently got it on DVD as a matter of fact." I told him, smiling at the memory of her exuberance in telling me about it.  
  
"Huh ..." was Vash's response.  
  
"Double dollar for your thoughts?" I asked him concernedly, and grinning inwardly at the choice of wording I used.  
  
He shook his head, that grin in place again. "I was just wondering why you two would spend money on ... well ... a show about ... me."  
  
I paused at that. It was a perfectly logical musing. "Well, I cannot really speak for Liz because I am not her, but I can speak for myself and say that I found myself intrigued with your character in the anime. I had a need to see you and how you survived all that you had. It was cathargic in a way to see someone like you pull through it all. In a way it gave me hope for myself, in my own life." *How perfectly true and honest that was, but did I really need to say that? That was a bit too much information on my part. He didn't need to know that ...*  
  
He however gulped. "I ... give people ... hope?? But ... but ..." his next sentence was much softer. "But, I've caused so much suffering ..."  
  
I felt my heart stop at that. It was physical. I could feel it, and it hurt.  
  
*Oh Vash ...*  
  
"That wasn't you, Vash. It wasn't. Please, believe me when I say that. You did nothing but want to save everyone, even those who don't deserve it. Please ..." I almost pleaded before giving up on my inability to communicate what it truly was that I was trying to say. I decided to just translate it into a far more powerful language. I leaned forward and hugged him.  
  
"Do you really believe all that?" He asked me, his voice so quiet, it hurt me worse than if he had yelled it.  
  
"It's hard, I know ... I can't know what it must feel like being in your shoes, but you have to move on. It takes time and it takes love, but you can move on. Believe me on this ... it may not seem like it, but I do know of sorrow too, and the only thing you can do is take it a day at a time, but not alone, never alone ..." I told him, begging for him to believe it.  
  
*He has to ...*  
  
I glanced up at him and ... he was smiling just ever so slightly! It warmed me through and through."You know... this is the second time today someone I barely know has tried to comfort me... I must be really depressing!" He joked with a slightly more mocking tone.  
  
"Not depressing at all. You have a heart, which is more than I can say for some. You've no right to say that about yourself." I told him as I ducked my head, intent on wiping away the traces of tell-tale tears that had collected behind my eyes.  
  
Vash shook his and mused, "I wonder why Liz bought the 'anime' then ..."  
  
"Well I don't know, but you might want to ask her about it ..." I said in that sing song voice again, coming back to myself from that emotional moment and playing matchmaker at the same time.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked me, almost wary in his own way.  
  
"Oh ... nothing ... nothing at all." I answered.  
  
*But the question is will he buy that?*  
  
He merely smirked at me. "Right. And that friend of yours is really a modest person."  
  
*Oh Merlin! That's ruddy great!*  
  
I laughed out loud and nearly fell over anime style.  
  
"Uh... Are you okay?" He asked me, his eyebrow hitched.  
  
I desperately tried to stop laughing. It was a valiant effort really. "I- I'm f-fine ... really ... that was just very funny. You really should take that comedy routine of yours on the road." I stood and made my way to the counter to pay for the boots, beckoning for him to follow. As we both walked out of the shop however, I found he had other plans. He took a few long strides and caught up to me, snatching the bags away from me before I had a ruddy chance to do anything about it.  
  
"Oy! I can carry them just fine!" I told him in an indignant voice.  
  
"Carry what?" He asked me, quite clearly playing dumb.  
  
"Those bags that you have in your arms right now!" I retorted reaching out for one, but that is when it happened ...  
  
"I don't have any bags in my arms. I think you're seeing things." He smirked, crossing his arms, that were devoid of any bags.  
  
"Wha-" I blinked. "Huff puff! B-but ... y-you had them ... just a s-second ago!"  
  
*I am not hallucinating. They were right there, D'arvit!*  
  
I then shook my head in realization. "Oh I get it ... you're using that Vash thing ... that thing you can do. Funny, ha ha, so where are the bags?"  
  
"Bags?" was his response to me.  
  
"Vash, you're not playing fair. I know you have them. Fine, if I let you carry them, will you at least make them reappear and show me that I have not gone daft?" I pleaded with him.  
  
*Ruddy needle noggin' that he is.*  
  
He laughed and whipped out the bags from behind in a move so casual and quick. "Now... would you mind telling me where we're going?"  
  
"Well, we've a half an hour before we have to meet Liz and my egocentric guest. What would you like to do? Anything in particular you'd like to see here in the mall?" I asked him, wondering if I'd be able to grab back one of the bags but then decided against it.  
  
He flashed me a most wicked grin and answered my question with the most obvious of things I should have realized it was coming. "Donuts."  
  
"Sounds fine by me. I was wondering when you'd ask. Liz and even nicknamed you Donut-boy for that precise reason." I stated, smiling widely as I led the way to a nearby donut shop.  
  
"I was kinda wondering about that ... she's a really interesting person." He admitted to me, walking in quick strides beside me.  
  
"Yes she is, but that is what makes her quite lovable." I told him, flashing him my Millie grin.  
  
"So ... you two seem really close." He smiled back.  
  
"Yes, which is quite funny because we've only known each other for three months, but it sure feels longer." I told him, thinking the irony in how we came to get to know each other. It was due to our obsession with the Monty Python boys.  
  
*We loves them we do!*  
  
"You know ... Liz seems really ... well ... she seemed to trust me almost the moment she met me." He shook his head. "I just don't get it."  
  
"Well, Vash, you do remember that she knows quite a bit about you from the anime and for that matter so do I. She trusts you because she knows you, even though you don't per se know her." I explained, my voice taking on that sagely characteristic.  
  
He smiled slightly. "It's kinda nice not having to hide everything for once ..."  
  
"Yes, it is nice." I whispered.  
  
He simply gave me a quizzical look, apparently he was under the impression I had something more to say, but no! Not again!  
  
"Oy! Not that again!" I said with a laugh. "I was just saying that you of all people must appreciate that the most."  
  
"Yeah, I do." He returned. "So ... what were we going to do again?"  
  
"Oy!" Here I smacked my forehead with my hand. "Not you too! You cannot be addled. I already have an addled wizard on my hands. We were going to get donuts remember." I shook my head and entered the shop.  
  
"Oh Right! DONUTS! how could I forget?" He said, laughing at himself. "Well... Let's GO!"  
  
"Woah now ... patience." I admoninished the eager gun-man and pointed to the display counter. "So what'll it be?" I then asked him. However, He simply gazed around as if he had never seen such a wide selection of donuts in his life.  
  
*Well you know for a fact he hasn't so ... ye ...*  
  
"Well, since Donut Boy here can't seem to choose, why not some of these sprinkled ones?" I suggested to him, eyeing the lovely donuts myself.  
  
"Sp- SPRINKLES????????" His eyes lit up.  
  
"Yes, precisely what said: Sprinkles. How many would you like? A dozen?" I queried, taking out my wallet to purchase the lot of them.  
  
"You really mean it??" He smiled a wide and bright smile, it was quite blinding.  
  
"Now that is a real smile!" I beamed, thinking Wolfwood would have been so proud. "Yes, I do mean it, however on the condition that I have one out of the dozen."  
  
"Alright ...." He pouted slightly.  
  
"Aww come one Vash, you're getting eleven donuts all for you own . Cheer up!" I said, handing him the oh so lovely pink box that represented all of donuty goodness in the world.  
  
"THANKS!!!" He snarfed the lot of them in the blink of an eye. "That was great!"  
  
*Is this when I should call Ripley's Believe it or Not?*  
  
"Duude, you REALLY can snarf. That's the stuff of legends, it is." I muttered, grinning wickedly.  
  
"It's a gift." He winked.  
  
"Yes, apparently so." I laughed softly, "You know, you really are quite adorable."  
  
"Uh ... thanks!" He replied, scratching the back of his head in that nervous anime habit.  
  
I beamed. "You're quite welcome. Oy! There's Liz and Gilderoy! Let's go!" I grabbed his arm and lead him over to the other two.  
  
"Hello you two!" I greeted Liz and Gilderoy cheerily, my earlier anger at him long gone.  
  
Liz grinned. "So... you two have fun?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Great ... so ... do you want to look around some more, or should we get out of here?" Liz questioned, glancing at me and Vash and then Gilderoy.  
  
"Nooo! Home! Please??" I practically begged.  
  
*MERLIN NO MORE!*  
  
Liz just laughed. "Alright. Vash ... do you need some help with those?" She then asked Vash, eyeing the bags he was carrying.  
  
He grinned and flashed me a meaningful look. "No ... I'm fine." Before turning to ask Liz, "What about you? You really shouldn't be putting any weight on that you know."  
  
"Er ... right ...." Liz coughed.  
  
Vash just sighed and grabbed the bags from her hands.  
  
"HEY!" Liz mirrored my early indignance.  
  
He grinned, "What?"  
  
"You ..." Liz glared at Vash for a minute before sighing, defeated. "You win."  
  
"Soooo, can we go now???" I asked impatiently now that they had settled that.  
  
"Yes ... lets." Liz acceded and proceeded ahead with Vash.  
  
*YAY! Home here I come!*  
  
I thanked the powers that be that I was finally on my way home as I fell in step with Gilderoy.  
  
"So what did you and Liz talk about?" I asked him. "Oh nothing ... nothing at all." He replied, smiling that roguish smile at me. 


	7. Adjusting and Juniper Breeze

A/N: This chapter is still at the mall at the same time that chapter six was, excepting this is Gilderoy's little adventure with Liz. His point of view. Enjoy y'all! I STRONGLY suggest y'all read Scarlet Rurouni's (Liz's) fic "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" where you will find the same chapter set up but with her POV and Vash's POV at the mall, of course with Gilderoy and I still there too. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Come on..." Liz said, grabbing Gilderoy's sleeve and dragging him off to another store. "One hour! Front of the Disney Store! Bye!" She called over her shoulder.  
  
Once they were away from Stephie and Vash, in another store with, she whirled to face him. "You do realize that you were about to become a speck on the pavement simply over a set of shirts?" She accused letting a very physical growl accompany her words.  
  
Gilderoy gulped, "Er ... are you two perhaps related?" he asked, laughing nervously wondering if he was indeed going to live through this without the two wanting to murder him on the spot.  
  
He glanced at her as she sighed heavily and explained in very clear tones, "Alright look. Let me explain something: A) I am FAR more frightening than anything you may have seen from Stephie, I just generally try to control it a bit more. B) I do NOT like you anywhere near as much as she seems to, I simply saved your butt because I don't necessarily believe in killing without just cause ... and C) Just because you think it looks good on you in Potterverse doesn't mean you won't get laughed at for wearing it here. In other words, your sense of fashion does not apply in this reality, so get over it." She finished, and with a very huffy demeanor stalked over to peruse some shirts still making that trilling sound in her throat.  
  
He gulped and felt he should at least explain himself, but he vaguely wondered why their opinion, especially Stephie's mattered so much to him. "It's just a lot to get used to. People don't know I exist here and I am told I am not real. Might as well be ghost ... everything I am used to is upside down. Even my memory."  
  
It was true, ever since ... well he didn't remember what it was that happened that had lead to his residence in that hospital, St. Mungo's, but ever since that had happened, nothing had been the same for him.  
  
"Well, you could do yourself a favor and try NOT to act so pompous all the time... it's alright to be confused and lost, just don't be so arrogant about it." Liz told him over her shoulder, still slightly huffy as if not forgetting how much he had angered Stephie.  
  
She did have a point, even if he didn't necessarily want to admit it to himself. He sighed, "Right. " Liz turned at his sigh and gave him a quizzical look, "Hey... look I'm generally not all that bad." She said, sighing herself. "I just tend to be very over-protective of my friends ... nasty little habit it is ..." and here she took up a few shirts and handed them to him. "Here. Try these."  
  
"All right, but ... er ... there are changing rooms right?" He asked, aware of the crowds moving around them as they stood there.  
  
She laughed at that, and he wondered what was so funny. "Yes baka. They're over there." Liz told him pointing over his shoulder, but then glanced at him again with a wicked smile. "Unless of course.. you prefer to get dressed in public?"  
  
Now why would he want to do that, he wondered. He may have egocentric tendencies, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he had not modesty whatsoever. Perhaps he should clue everyone into that distinction, he though to himself. "I'd just as soon as spare the public." He responded with his eyebrow quirking up, as headed off to the changing rooms.  
  
He went into one of the small rooms that could have passed for a cubbyhole and set out the shirts before him on the bench. Hmm, which would he try first? Well, these grey ones are nice. He took up one of the shirts and unbuttoned it. After he got it on himself he swiveled to face his reflection in the mirror.  
  
"Not bad, Gilderoy ... " He turned and glanced over his shoulder to see another angle. It fit nicely and wasn't exactly ghastly. This would do. He then tried on all the others, each time swiveling to get all the different angles and ensure the shirts looked nice.  
  
After a few moments, he left the room and returned to Liz, holding the pile of shirts she had given him. "Just how many are we getting?"  
  
"Just a few, once you have them you can always come out and get more should the need arise. I'd say three at best for now." She answered after a pause in which she glanced up at the racks that held more shirts of all different colors and sizes.  
  
He smiled and then glanced down at the pile in his hands. "Well ... I say ... I'd say this blue and grey ones are nice, but these other ones ..." he trailed off, holding up a white, beige, and a green shirt. "Which do you think is my color?"  
  
She seemed to force back a laugh before she answered him. "Well... I personally like green... but that's just me."  
  
"Green it is. A lady's opinion is always the better one." He grinned and put the green shirt with the grey and blue ones.  
  
"Ah... flattery will get you everywhere. Here." Liz smirked, taking the rejected shirts from him and then handed him a stack of pants. "Try those, while I put these back..." She indicated the rejected shirts.  
  
"It wasn't flattery!" He stated told her before he made his way back to the changing rooms.  
  
Well it wasn't, he was being honest when he said that. Men had no fashion sense, at least most didn't. Women had that inate ability to link color and style. It was true, and she had mocked him. What he wouldn't give to just have a rule book of what to say and what not to. It would certainly help him that day as nothing he said or did was right apparently.  
  
A few moments later, he returned to her once more after having tried on the various pants. "Well, these three are fine." Gilderoy told her, gesturing to a pair of denim and two pairs of khaki pants.  
  
"I approve." She actually looked slightly surprised, but then shrugged it off with a grin and led him towards the counter to pay for the clothes. "Let's go pay for these and then we can get you some decent shoes."  
  
Grabbing the bags she nodded ahead of her, beckoning him to follow. He vaguely wondered why she was carrying the bags. Should he try and get her to let him carry them? Or was it custom here in this strange place that women do that?  
  
"So... what do you think of it here?" She asked him, cutting into his thoughts.  
  
Good question. What did he think of it here? "It's different I'll say ..." He glanced at her for a moment, before asking, "So you and Stephie are close friends?"  
  
"Yes. I'd have thought that to be fairly obvious." She smirked and shifted the bags in her hand. Again he wondered if he should ask to relieve her of the bags as well as wondered if she would kill him for asking.  
  
"Well you can be friends with someone and not necessarily be close ..." He managed to say amid his thoughts on the bags in her hand.  
  
"Yes ... That's true." She frowned slightly, but not in an angry way, more of a thoughtful way.  
  
"So, where did you to meet?" He asked her, very curious about this.  
  
"In English class at school." She replied, grinning in a nostalgic type of way. "We discovered we had a shared interest in a particular group of actors ..." her voice trailed off in memory.  
  
"Oh. How long have you known her?" He asked, having the impression that they'd known each other for years.  
  
"A few months now I believe." She glanced over at him, an unreadable expression on her face.  
  
"And Vash ... he's not from here either is he?" He asked, curious about her companion who was somewhere with Stephie at that moment.  
  
She almost sighed plaintively. "No... Even though where Vash is from isn't all that much different from here... it's not exactly the best of places..." Though here she suddenly grinned wickedly at him. "Though you know... he's famous where he's from too."  
  
Wonderful ... she's mocking me again, he thought. Well she may play that way, but he would try and play fair. He turned his gaze to her and asked politely, "Really now?"  
  
"Yes. But not in a good way ..." She answered with another sigh. "You're lucky... most people that recognize you don't want to kill you."  
  
"I should hope not!" He cried, scandalized. Now why would anyone who recognized me want to kill me, he mused.  
  
"Yes, well, Vash isn't quite so lucky. Basically every living person wants him dead... at least where he's from... though there are a few exceptions. That is why Vash tried to give you that false name when you first met, remember?" She laughed quietly at the memory.  
  
"False name? Oh! Yes!" He suddenly rememebered.  
  
She grinned. "We're here." Liz declared, indicating the store and motioning for him to follow her inside.  
  
However once inside, she suddenly frowned. "Hmmm... I've no idea what size you are..." Glancing around, he watched her grab a pair handed them to him. "Try these."  
  
He tried them on and found to his surprise they actually fit him. They were quite snug and comfortable. How did she do that? "You know, you're kind of scary when you do that."  
  
"Do what?" Liz asked nonplussed.  
  
"Pull something off at random that actually suits me." He explained, pulling the shoes off.  
  
Liz awarded him with a laugh, "Just one of my many talents, Lockhart."  
  
"Right, I'll say." He responded and wondered why she always called him by his last name.  
  
"So I take it you like them then?" She asked him, eyeing the pair of shoes in his hands.  
  
He nodded in the affirmative. "Yes, I do. Will that be all here?"  
  
She glanced around for a moment, as if mentally making sure there wasn't anything she was forgetting. "Yes ... I think so ..." She then glanced at something on her wrist, the same thing that Stephie always seemed to look at every second that caused her to rush around muttering about time, and turned back to him. "Well... we've got about half an hour before we need to meet Stephie and Vash... Anything you'd like to do?" Liz asked as she paid for the shoes.  
  
"Not particularly, though I am curious about that store over there ..." He indicated the store just across the way that was titled Bath and Body Works  
  
She snorted. "You really want to go into a shop dedicated entirely to bathing supplies?"  
  
"Well, can I help it that I wish to stay cleanly and fragrant? I am sure I am not the only one." He returned, aware that he was slightly peeved.  
  
"Calm down, Lockhart. I didn't mean anything by it. We can go if you wish." She headed towards the aforementioned shop, wincing ever so slightly as she added the extra weight of the bags to her hand.  
  
"Would you like me to help you carry those?" He offered concernedly, mentally thinking he may or may not have been breaking a rule, but not the rule of chivalry.  
  
"No, thanks. I'm good." I replied, never lessening her stride.  
  
"No, I can see you're lying. As those packages are for me, what kind of gentleman wouldn't help carry those?" He implored her, his hands already outstretched to take the weight from her hands.  
  
Liz stopped and turned to gaze at him levelly, almost as if she was judging the sincerity in his offer. "Well I'll be damned ." Liz muttered with a small smile as she handed him a few bags. "And here I though chilvary was supposed to be dead ..."  
  
"You thought wrong, gentle lady of the world of reality." He shook his head and smiled at her.  
  
She laughed at that. "Gentle?" She started amused, "You looked a bit frightened by me not too long ago."  
  
"Work with me here, will you?" He retorted, vaguely aware that he was using one of Stephie's lines.  
  
She just laughed again. "You've been hanging around Stephie far too long my friend."  
  
"Yes. I still find it strange that I ended up in her closet. Weirdest thing that has happened to me thus far ... excepting that incident in this tunnel thing ... can't remember what happened ... but it was dark and my memory has never been the same since." He remarked nonchalantly.  
  
She nodded. "That, I can understand," and gave him a sympathetic smile, "but cheer up. Everything will turn out all right in the end."  
  
He smiled his own bright smile. "I hope."  
  
"Our ticket to the future is always open ... you'll be fine." She stopped. "We're here."  
  
"Anything you want?" She asked after several moments where Gilderoy had just stared transfixed at everything.  
  
Everything was so nice in here, he thought. Such fragrant smells and ... oh! "Merlin!" He exclaimed before composing himself. "This will be fine." He held reached out and plucked a bottle from the shelf and handed it to her.  
  
"Who'd 'would've thought someone could be so amused by body wash?" She muttered to herself as she went to pay for the items.  
  
"It's the fragrance I like!" He said in a playful huffy voice.  
  
"I'm sure it is." Liz rolled her eyes at him. "Is there anything else you'd like to do?"  
  
"Not particularly, will we go back to that store and wait out front for the others?"  
  
She nodded."Yup." She then lead him out of the store and back the way they had originally come. "So ....you seemed very interested in Stephie before ..."  
  
Had he been that obvious?  
  
"Well I was curious. She seems to be so independent and so solitary, I was curious as to how close you two were. I know she still lives with her parents, but it seems like ... she may as well be an orphan. It's strange really." He tried to explain.  
  
"I see." She murmured softly and seemed to lose herself in her thoughts.  
  
"Galleon for your thoughts?" He asked her, looking a little curious and yet concerned.  
  
She seemed to shake off her thoughts. "Hm? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking ... how we all seem to be similar in that way ...."  
  
"I beg your pardon?" He asked a bit confused, wondering if it was true what Stephie had said about Liz being the brains out of the two of them.  
  
"Wel l... it's just what you said ..." She frowned slightly, "I mean, each of us, you, Stephie, Vash, me ... we all sort ... function independently and yet ...."  
  
"Yet ... ?" He prompted her, very much curious now.  
  
"And yet ... we really all seem to sort of need companionship ... though it seems that all four of us have a tendency to try and distance ourselves from anything meaningful ... friendwise ..." She shook her head. "Or perhaps I'm reading a bit too deep into things."  
  
"You're making sense." He told her reassuringly. She had brought up a fairly good point after all. Stephie did have that tendency to push others way, or was it just him she was pushing away?  
  
"It's sort of ironic when you think about it ..." She let out a soft laugh. "I really need to stop trying to analyze everything, don't I?"  
  
"No, but Stephie was right when she said you were the brains of the group." Gilderoy grinned and now thought he understood Stephie's words.  
  
She laughed hard. "Not really. Most of the time I'm quite moronic, I assure you." She smiled playfully.  
  
"I find that hard to believe." He returned with a rogueish smile.  
  
"Right." She rolled her eyes. "Oh hey! There's Stephie and Vash!" She waved, and Gilderoy was relieved to see that they both seemed to be in good spirits. "Looks like you'll be rid of me sooner than you thought, eh Lockhart?" She grinned.  
  
"Now why would I want to be rid of you? You're relatively harmless." He laughed warmly, his eyes however on Stephie as she approached.  
  
Liz snorted, " 'Mostly harmless' ... now where have I heard that before ..."  
  
She grinned however, as Vash and Stephie approached. "You two have fun?"  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Special thanks to:  
  
Scarlet Rurouni: You rule girlie!  
  
Crystalunicorn14: Hope you liked!  
  
A word: Now that the semester is almost over, just another week and then finals, I shall have more chapters out for this story. So yay! 


	8. Shell Shock

A/N: Right, sorry for the insanely long wait. I still have finals this next week but for the most part I can settle back and get to writing more of this. YAY! Again, I suggest you all read my friend Liz's (Scarlet Rurouni) spin-off fic because you'll still see me and Gilderoy there too. Once again, it is called "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet"  
  
Acknowledgments:  
  
Scarlet Rurouni: Oy! Just wanted to acknowledge the wonderful Liz-dono who keeps me from tearing Lockhart apart! LOL!  
  
crystalunicorn14: *Huggies* Thanks for following the story as you have, hunnie-bunches-of-oats!  
  
FluffysBijin05: *sly grin* Well, if you likes Lupin ... wait 'til I get to the sequel ... *wink wink ... nudge nudge* ...  
  
ChocolateCoveredChaos: Thanks for your warm review! Keep checking back for more original goodness!  
  
DarkShadowsfan: OY! *insert glompage moment* I read your fic and loves it! I know I already reviewed it but still ... KUDOS to ye!  
  
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*Finally! A safe place! Sanctuary! Sanctuary I say!*  
  
I sighed with the utmost relief when Gilderoy and I stepped onto my porch. I reached for my keys and opened the door and quite literally fell face forward onto the floor.  
  
"Stephie!" Gilderoy gasped and made to help me up, but I waved him away. He however, was very insistent. He got me into a sitting position, leaning me back against the wall. "What in the name of Merlin was that about?" He asked, both confused and just barely amused.  
  
I closed my eyes and just leaned against the wall for a moment. It had been a LONG day after all. Sighing inaudibly I opened my eyes and looked at him seriously.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm just very exhausted." I said and made to rise, shifting the bags onto the couch a little ways away from me as I did so. I didn't want to deal with anything at the moment. I just wanted to go and lay down and not wake up for a LONG while. However, that wasn't exactly a luxury I had. I glanced down at my watch.  
  
*Five o'clock ... nearly a whole ruddy day spent at ... the mall ... pheh ... so much to do and so little time ... *  
  
"Gilderoy, I know we had a nice fancy dinner last night, but would you mind terribly if I didn't make that a repeat performance? I have no energy and there's not much in the stores anyway. I doubt you would know what Spaghetti-O's are ... but would you like to try some?" I asked him, stretching my arms and my limbs.  
  
*That fall really did hurt y'know?*  
  
He looked at me a little out of the loop for a moment, but seemed to realize he'd better not try any stunts with me. He nodded. "I would not mind at all, and you're right, I don't know what this ... er ... thing is ... but I wouldn't mind trying some." He responded.  
  
"Lovely. Well, I'll go get it ready then. You can sift through the bags and take some of the hangers from here," I opened up the hallway coat closet and pulled a few hangers and handed them to him, "and hang up the shirts and the pants in that closet. I'll clear this lot of my family's sweaters and put it in their room." I told him and did exactly that. I did cringe a little when it came to grabbing my step-father's jacket but I tossed it away immediately onto their bed and promptly washed my hands in the bathroom before moving back into the living room.  
  
*Yes, I know I am a bit ... er ... obsessive compulsive ... I'll get professional help soon, really.*  
  
I entered back into the living room to find Gilderoy promptly hanging up the clothes with care. I smiled a little and made my way to the kitchen to make a quick supper for the two of us. Opening the pantry door I took the last two cans of Spaghetti-O's and set it on the counter.  
  
*Wonder if I have the money in the bank to spare to replenish my Spaghetti- O's stores ... oh well ... I'll do without. Hopefully we have some frozen pizza's still in the freezer.*  
  
Grabbing the can-opener I set to work getting the contents into two of my mother's blue and white bowls and into the microwave. I set the time for two minutes and stepped away to get two cups and in one I poured some soda for Gilderoy and for myself I filled my cup with milk. I then set those cups on the dining room table.  
  
"Anything I can help with?" Gilderoy asked coming up to me from the living room.  
  
"Nah, I am fine. Just another 0.5 seconds until dinner is served." I told him and waited half a second more to here the beep of the microwave.  
  
*You really are geeky, if you have that timing down to an art. You're scary, Stephie. Get help.*  
  
Smiling a small smile I got the two bowls from the microwave and grabbed two spoons and halfway to the table I stopped. I glanced across to living room window and outside to the porch.  
  
"Gilderoy, what do you say to having dinner out on the porch? It's a nice night and fresh air would do some good." I suggested, glancing to him.  
  
He nodded and smiled roguishly. "That would be nice." He said and made to follow me. I rolled my eyes.  
  
*Is it just me or is he using that smile a little too much for my own comfort?*  
  
I opened the door and walked carefully outside, having my bowl and cup of milk in my hands, as I made to the far end to sit on the porch swing. I placed my cup of milk and bowl on the wooden railing for a moment and flicked on the little switch on the side of the wall. Instantly our Christmas lights lit up.  
  
*Lovely touch, if I do say so myself.*  
  
I then sat back on the swing and waited for him to sit down and make himself comfortable before I reached for my bowl and tasted of the Spaghetti-O goodness that I came to love so much. I glanced over after a few ravenous but yet lady like bites to see if the wizard beside me was all right with the dinner choice for the night.  
  
"Good or no?" I asked him, taking a couple more bites and savoring the warmth and the taste in my mouth.  
  
He took a few bites more, as if making up his mind as he went along. "Good. Amazingly simple and plain, but good nonetheless." He told me honestly.  
  
I laughed at that. "Same thought I had when I first had some, but it grew on me obviously." I grinned and had some more, turning my gaze to the quiet sort of street I lived on. I suppose I never fully appreciated where I lived or my house for that matter. It really was nice now that most of what my step-father had destroyed in an effort to renovate was redone and finished to perfection, it really wasn't half bad. Not that I would have really cared or noticed when my family was home, and me barricaded in my room, but now that I look long at it, it's really nice.  
  
"Galleon for your thoughts?" Gilderoy's voice broke into my reverie.  
  
I blinked and turned to him. "Oro?" I let slip.  
  
"You looked a little pensive. You all right?" He asked a little concerned.  
  
"Oh, I was just thinking about this house. Believe it or not you wouldn't have recognized it if you came here a month ago. It was hideous, really." I told him candidly, taking a few more bites.  
  
"Hideous? You can't be serious. This is a charming little house." He responded with a chuckle.  
  
"Charming now, but then ... " I shuddered, "it was quite hideous. My dear old step-father of mine woke up one day and decided he'd try and up our house's value by renovating and remodeling things inside and out. Started one project, if you could call it that, and moved onto nearly fifteen more and never finished them. So we had a whole lot of dust and rubble and general ickyness here for a long while until he hired people to come clean up the mess." I explained sardonically.  
  
*It really had been a stupid move on his part, and as it is I still have a hole in my ceiling and one un-finished window. Sort of fitting that it would be my room that is still ramshackle and un-finished.*  
  
He just stared at me and then around at the house. "Well, I just can't see it being as bad as you make it out to be, but at least it's nice now." Gilderoy smiled.  
  
I smirked and finished my dinner and set the empty bowl on the little wooden table five feet away. Sighing a little contentedly I closed my eyes and leaned back on the swing, my movements rocking it back and forth a little in a comforting sort of way. I opened my eyes a little, in a sleepy drowsy sort of way and looked at the stars, amazed at the fact that you could actually see a few here and there.  
  
*What do you know, the smog hasn't blocked out everything up there. Wow. Small miracles never cease.*  
  
Closing my eyes again I leaned back my head, resting my neck on the top of the swing. It wasn't the most comfortable of positions really, but I wanted to lean back and rest and let myself be rocked by the swing. A second later though, I heard the clink of a bowl on the wooden table and felt the swing rock a little more. Suddenly I felt myself quite literally moved. I wasn't leaning back against the swing, but suddenly I was leaning against Gilderoy, my head on his shoulder and his arm lingering on mine. My heart stopped and I froze.  
  
*Stephie ... don't move ... don't breathe ... the slightest movement could shatter your world ...*  
  
I must have tensed up CONSIDERABLY because I suddenly felt him pull his arm away quick as lightning. I jumped up and scooped up the dishes and dashed to through the house to the kitchen, without a backward glance. I practically slammed the sliding kitchen door close, moving to the counter to lean forward onto it heavily. Trying to compose myself somewhat, I placed the dishes into the sink, albeit with shaky hands. I turned the water and tried to wash them without clinking them together so, but it wasn't working.  
  
No one has held me like that. Then again, in the relation-date-ship realm I am not exactly all that experienced and the experiences I have had haven't been good. The words "crash and burn" come to mind. Hence, no one of the opposite sex has held me. Maybe the occasional male acquaintance from church will say goodbye and give me those quick "bye and God bless you, but don't prolong this please" kind of hugs, nothing even remotely more personal than that. Certainly none of my female friends have held me. Whether that is a good thing or bad, is yet to be seen. So yes, it's a little like shell shock to me, what just happened. I decided to forget the dishes. They were being mean and not cooperating with me anyway. So I figure an early bed time would be just what the doctor ordered. I slid open the door and made my way to my room, my haven. I was nearly there too before he came back in and stopped me.  
  
"Stephie, I'm sorry about that all ... I-" He really did look sorry too. He would have to wouldn't he?  
  
I took a deep breath and tried to shake it off. I was being really ... freaky about it anyway. "Look, it's fine, but please ... don't do that again." I told him and went away into my room.  
  
As I changed and got into bed, I really had to admit to myself that it wasn't because I'm not a touchy feely person. I am, if anything, a really BIG touchy feely mushy type of person ... that is why I can't let that happen again. Every time I do ... I get hurt. I can't let my guard down.  
  
*Can't. Can't. Can't I tell you!*  
  
I sighed and pressed my eyes tightly shut and turned over on my side and buried my face in the side of my pillow.  
  
*Merlin ... I have to admit it felt so nice ... but why? WHY??*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next morning when I woke up ... my pillow was damp from the tears ... 


	9. Muggle Living 101

A/N: Happy Christmas to all my readers! I hope it was wonderful for y'all! Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!  
  
Acknowledgments:  
  
DarkShadowsFan: I thank you again for following my story as you have! I am pleased that you like it and you need to update yours! I must read more!  
  
Jestana: Thank you for your kind review of the last chapter! I do hope I get out soon too. In any case, here's to more fun on my part!  
  
FluffysBijin05: Thanks! I can't wait for Lupin goodness either. *grins wickedly* It's going to be great fun when I actually do get there :)  
  
HyperCaz: I am glad you love it! YAY for my continuing it! Here's to you! Cheers!  
  
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Gilderoy woke up the next morning to the first rays of sunlight filtering through the living room window. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes and then remembered ...  
  
He sighed. That had just been brilliant of him. Now Stephie probably hated him and he couldn't exactly blame her. What had possessed him to do that anyway?  
  
He rose and went to the closet where he'd previously hung up his new clothes. He grabbed his new khaki pants and the new white shirt and changed quickly. Glancing in the mirror beside the hallway closet, he stared at his reflection for a few minutes. For once, he wasn't in the least bothered that he was looking ... normal and not sleek and polished.  
  
Sighing again he raked his hand through his hair and went back to sit on the sofa, automatically folding up his blanket and setting it atop his pillow, mimicking what he'd seen Stephie do each morning.  
  
Come to think of it, he felt a little bad about the night before and he wondered if there was anyway he could make it up to her. But, wait a second, why did it all of a sudden matter to him? If he thought about it long enough ...  
  
She wasn't exactly the most beautiful of girls. Her hair was wavy and most of the time not per se very managable. She was rather on the average side of things, both in height and in weight, and she didn't exactly have the most perfect set of teeth this side of Diagon Alley. She was very quiet and secretive, and in a way tightly wound. She rarely smiled for longer than a second and she had the greatest propensity towards rolling her and eyes and sighing more than anyone he'd ever met ...  
  
But yet ... when she did actually smile, she had a quiet beauty all her own. Her usually guarded eyes seemed to soften. It's not that she changed in appearance, no she stayed very much the same, but something was added to her. A wholesomeness he supposed. For all the rolling of her eyes and her sighing, he could not deny that she was deep down a very kind and passionate person, as evidenced by her friendship with Liz.  
  
Closing his eyes, Gilderoy lay back against the sofa back, wondering why he was thinking all this. He'd never lacked for attention with other women. It didn't matter that he'd never exactly been in a relationship, there were many that had sought him out. Yet, for the first time ever, he was not being sought after. For all his good looks and charm, Stephie seemed to see right through him, something that both refreshed and pained him. It certainly refreshed him to find someone so independent and so in control of herself, but yet it pained him. For once however, it wasn't his ego that was pained. He was more pained by the realization that he was really being challenged and he didn't know if he was equal to it. She seemed to challenge and convict him as no one had ever done. It was the strangest thing really.  
  
Going back to his original thoughts, he wondered what he could possibly do to make amends for the evening before. Then he thought of it! The simple brilliance of it all! He leapt up from his spot on the sofa and dashed into the kitchen.  
  
"This morning, Stephania Julianna, you're not going to make breakfast. I will."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
I opened my eyes blearily and yawned. Yet another night I'd spent tossing and turning, as evidenced by my horribly skewed blankets. I sighed and rose, donning my jeans and preferred blue Roxy shirt. I ran my brush through my hair and replaced it in my drawer.  
  
I opened my door and left my room, nearly tripping on the rug in the hallway.  
  
*Walking is hard! Seriously! Especially in the morning.*  
  
I straightened up and made careful steps while I regained my motor skills and made my way through the living room to the kitchen when I hear a lot of noise coming from beyond the kitchen door. I looked back to the living room and just now realized that ... Gilderoy wasn't asleep on the sofa.  
  
*Merlin tell me ... please tell me that ... he's not ...*  
  
I instantly sprang to life and rushed to the kitchen and yanked open the door to find my fears were justified. There was the hopelessly addled wizard ... right beside the stove on which something was sizzling and emitting a little smoke.  
  
Assessing the situation as quickly as I could, I spied a measuring cup and some milk and butter out and something that had originally been yellow turned brown and smoking on the stove, possibly because the burner had been set on high as opposed to just medium or low. Reaching out quickly I turned off the burner and deftly took the frying pan and placed it on the other side of the stove.  
  
At this point, he had the grace to look embarrassed and sheepish. "I was just trying to make breakfast this time around. You do so much as it is." He explained, offering me a tentative smile.  
  
I let this register in my head, trying really HARD not to roll my eyes. "You wanted to make breakfast for us?" I asked, still waiting for it to register.  
  
"Yes-" He started to say before I cut him off.  
  
"You, a wizard who knows nothing of doing things the muggle way, wanted to make us breakfast?" I asked again, massaging my temples while still waiting for it to register in my head.  
  
"Yes ... well n-no ... well I had seen you make breakfast those other times and I did everything you did, " he indicated the very neat counter top with the measuring cup and the other ingredients, "but it just fell apart when I put it there on that thing." Indicating the stove burner.  
  
I glanced around and inspected the scene, which actually, he was right. He did everything I'd done before and done it correctly. Hell, he was even wearing that cooking apron I usually wore. He'd done it all, excepting the fact that he'd burned the eggs. I couldn't help it. I smiled and laughed softly, apparently the opposite of what he'd been expecting me to do.  
  
"That was very thoughtful of you, Gilderoy. Really, I'm flattered that you went through so much trouble, but ... next time just come and get me. I'm not much of a cook, but what I know I can teach you." I told him and examined the frying pan with the burned eggs, which showed no promise of being edible in the least.  
  
He looked up at me, a bright smile on his face. "You're not mad?" He asked me, really surprised at my reaction.  
  
"No of course not. Though, if you'd burned down the house, then of course I'd be righteously mad, but you didn't." I replied and punched him playfully in the arm and took the frying pan and emptied the contents in the trash can beneath the sink.  
  
Gilderoy just beamed at me. "Well yes, that's a perfectly justifiable reason for anger."  
  
I grinned and washed the frying pan carefully and then turned to face him. "Well now that danger has been averted," I winked, "would you like me to show you how to make make breakfast the muggle way?"  
  
I laughed as he went into a very exaggerated bow. "Yes, I would be delighted to learn." He said with that roguish smile.  
  
I smirked and shook my head and proceeded to step him through the process of making scrambled eggs and pointed out some of the different utensils and their uses. He seemed to catch on somewhat quick and by the end of my impromptu tutorial we had a breakfast of scrambled eggs. He however surprised me, he beat me to setting the table.  
  
*Catches on quick, that one. I have trained him well, and this is where I insert a very wicked grin*  
  
"You know, you're adapting better than I thought you would." I joked to him, as I sat down in the chair he pulled out for me.  
  
Gilderoy grinned and sat down as well. "Really?"  
  
"Yes, really, surprisingly enough." I smiled a small smile back at him. Though I wondered, however, if the world of reality was actually ready for him.  
  
We ate our breakfast and then I went about teaching Gilderoy some of the finer points of muggle living. It was quite amusing when I got to the greatest inventions of all ... the TV and DVD player.  
  
*Well, all right ... next best greatest invention next to a computer.*  
  
I had explained to him the basics of what they are and what they do and I thought a more involved lesson would be in order. As such, I brought out my handy dandy bin from under my bed that held all my more precious items in life and that included my DVD and VHS collection.  
  
*Hmm ... what to watch ... what to watch ... so many choices ... *  
  
I wondered if it would be too weird to actually show him my Harry Potter movies and then decided against it. I then wondered if The Lord of the Rings would be a bit much for him.  
  
"Stephie, what are you doing?" Gilderoy asked after a while in which I'd been pawing through my collection. He glanced at me bemusedly.  
  
I held up a hand. "Don't stop my thinking process here! I am trying to find a good movie to watch and thus introduce you to the wonderful world of muggle movies. Patience man!"  
  
He just laughed at my obvious insanity and went to sit down on my bed as we were in my room since I have my own fabulous entertainment set up. TV, DVD, and VCR player on my dresser and my brand new computer on my desk.  
  
*I tell you, life is good when you've got these babies with you.*  
  
I continued to paw through my DVD collection, still trying to decide which to watch.  
  
*No on "The Craft" ... hmm ... nah, I'll pass on my anime collection. It'd just go right over his head. Er ... I don't know if he'd like my Shakespeare films. Hmm ... what else? He's certainly not an "Encino Man" type of person ... and I certainly won't inflict "The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" on him. Poor guy, can't do that now can we? Hmm ... not "Anna and the King" either ... wait ... I've ruddy got it!*  
  
I eagerly grabbed what I was searching for and pushed the bin away back under my bed.  
  
*The simple brilliance of it all! Brilliance I tell you!*  
  
I stood and faced him with a mischievous grin on my face. "So, what do you say to watching one of my personal favorites, 'Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail'?"  
  
*Oh those Python boys! How I love them!* 


	10. Grocery Run

A/N: Sorry! Sweet Circe, I am so sorry for the insanely long wait for this chapter! *thwaps self* I hates my schedule I do really! Also, once more please go and read ScarletRurouni's "The Student, The Typhoon, and the Closet" as it's a spin off of my own fic and includes more of me and Gilderoy there, however from her or Vash's point of view!  
  
Acknowledgments:  
  
ScarletRurouni: Aiya! Here's the next chappie! *happy hobbelf smile* Here's looking forward to Vash's babysitting Gilderoy.  
  
DarkShadowsFan: I still think it's ruddy awesome that you're writing your own Gilderoy closety type story! Oh you so have to go and join the community I just made which is devoted this these types of stories! Go to greatestjournal.com and type in "frommycloset" in the search box and join! Yesh you must, because then you can post the info to your fic and it's like a promotions board!  
  
Crystalunicorn14: *Hobbity huggies* Here's to you, kiddo!  
  
Jestana: Yes, and what do you mean "inflicting" Python on him? It's ruddy great! You have to see it sometime too! Dry British humor rules!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
That same day later in the afternoon, it happened. The big IT: grocery run. I'd clean forgot to pick up some food for the week, and there was naught in the refrigerator but salads and weird vegetables which I deemed "rabbit food". There was stuff in the pantry but it consisted mainly of rice and beans. Stuff I didn't necessarily eat and even if I did, had no previous experience cooking it. I bit my lip and looked in the freezer next. No dice. Just loads of meat and stuff you'd have to actually clean, marinade, and roast. I'm not exactly a chef here, so I'm potentially screwed.  
  
*Crap... it's just not bloody right!*  
  
I shut the freezer door and glanced at the clock. The little digital numbers flashed 5:48pm. I suppose I'll have to go. Ordinarily if I'd been on my own I would have waited to go the next day in the cover of daylight. I'd have taken a few slices of bread and made that my dinner, but that would not do. I had Gilderoy staying with me and I would not subject him to starvation, even if I would have subjected myself to it under other circumstances.  
  
As such, I sighed and left the kitchen. Making my way to my bedroom which was empty. I glanced around a little stupidly. It's not like he'd hide behind the door and jump out at me. I shrugged and figured he'd probably gone to the restroom or outside. I grabbed my purse, green fleece jacket, and scribbled a quick note on my handy dandy post-it notes located in my desk. I took the note, left my room, and went to go walk out the front door. Once I'd placed the note on the door and I locked it shut and turned to leave down my front walk.  
  
"Going somewhere?" Gilderoy asked out of nowhere, causing me to jump a foot in the air and squeak. I whirled around to find him on my porch swing with my cat, Patches, on his lap.  
  
*Stephie you idiot. Why didn't you think to look on the porch?*  
  
I nodded. "Yes, I'll just be right back. I can't exactly make dinner as we've no food left. So I'll be going to the market to get some." I told him stepping back onto the porch, getting out my keys to unlock the door so that he'd be able to get back inside.  
  
Gilderoy stared at me incredulous. "You're going to the market?"  
  
"Yes..." I gazed back at him, a little confused by his expression.  
  
"You're going to the market at night?" He pressed on.  
  
I stood there wondering what in the world he was slowly getting at. "Yes...?" I replied.  
  
"You're going to the market at night, alone?" He stood now, still incredulous.  
  
*So! That's what he's on about. Oh Merlin, that's just great...*  
  
I nearly snorted and put my face in my hands. "Yes, indeed. What else do you expect? I've no car, and I've no one to drive me to the market and back. I'm not a witch so I cannot just use a magical way to get there and back. We need food now, I can't let you starve. Understand?" I explained it to him, all the while still trying to find the blasted keys in my purse.  
  
Gilderoy nodded but still gave me that slightly incredulous expression. "But alone? I don't like that idea. A young lady such as yourself going about the city at night, alone?" He asked, rising from his spot on the swing. Patches meowed and raced away down the walk.  
  
I glanced at him levelly. "What's wrong with that? Are you of mind that since I am a woman I should not be going about anywhere on my own?" I asked, hoping I wasn't jumping to conclusions. I didn't want to jump on my soap box even if that remark had sounded slightly chauvinistic.  
  
"Oh, Merlin no! That's not what I meant." He looked stricken. "I er... I-I meant that you're young and... well, since you are a woman... those two combinations tend to attract trouble..." Gilderoy managed to sputter, somewhat coherently.  
  
*Oh great, he's worried about me! I'm so glad he's not met my parents else he'd be right upset with them.*  
  
I couldn't help but laugh then. My parents were not averse to my traipsing around on my own, even at night. In fact, they actually urged me to as it saved them the of trouble driving me around. It was most inconvenient for them to take me even four blocks down to the market and back even in daylight.  
  
I gave him my most patient expression then. "Look, I'm really flattered that you are concerned and all, but this isn't the first time I'll be going somewhere alone at night. I don't know if it's obvious or not, but I am used to doing things on my own, since I don't have my parents or practically anyone helping me or at least offering to. I'll be fine." I told him firmly.  
  
What he did next surprised me greatly. For a completely selfish and egocentric person he actually gave me a look I would only expect Remus Lupin or Albus Dumbledore to give. I was thrown for a loop, seriously.  
  
"You're not going alone. I'll come with you." He said in just as much a firm voice as my own.  
  
I didn't know what to say. Here was a wizard who was completely inexperienced in muggle living offering to accompany me to a market. I didn't know whether to be flattered or afraid. I think I was a bit of both. Shrugging, I stopped looking for the keys as it seemed I would not be needing to unlock the door. "Suit yourself, Gilderoy." I responded, gesturing for him to follow me down the walk.  
  
We then went on our way. Me, with my quick speed walking and Gilderoy with his leisurely graceful stroll. As we walked though, I glanced around very much alert and alive. For some peculiar reason I now came to like walking home from classes or wherever at night. I know it's dangerous and I could easily be mugged or raped, but somehow walking home alone by night made me feel alive and reinforced my solitary independence. Aside from that fact, I liked night. It was beautiful and would be even more so were I somewhere else than in the icky city with it's noise and car exhaust fumes.  
  
Maybe because I was with someone this time or maybe because I was walking in my usual fast pace, we got to the market really quickly. I moved inside and got a little basket and headed straight for aisle number three, tossing in six cans of Spaghettio's, two bags of pasta, and pasta sauce. As I moved about I tossed in two of those personal size pizzas, two boxes of maccaroni and cheese, and loaded up on a box of Chunky Chips Ahoy complete with little canister of Vanilla cake frosting.  
  
All through this, Gilderoy simply followed me and didn't say or do anything to merit a glare from me. He seemed to be learning quick, that one. I was actually quite proud, really. Especially when I got to the line and up to the cashier, he actually helped load the stuff on the little conveyor belt. Though, I was not happy when he made to carry all the bags.  
  
"Gilderoy, I can carry those quite fine, thank you." I told him, reaching for one of them just before he held it to him and out of my grasp. "Rules of chivalry m'dear. A gentleman always carries a lady's bags or any such articles." He smiled a winning smile at me.  
  
*Huff puff, not that routine on me!*  
  
I crossed my arms and followed him as he had turned his back on me to begin walking out of the store, WITH those bags that I SHOULD have been carrying. "Look, Gilderoy Lockhart, you've no need to go all chivalric on me. There's no need and there's no point. I've never been pampered or babied in my life so you can just dream on. I'm no lady all right!" I caught up to him and tried to wrench one of the bags from him, in a move both firm and yet not exactly aggressive or violent.  
  
Gilderoy continued to walk, but yet glanced at me with a quirked up eyebrow. "If you're not a lady, then what do you think you are?" He asked me.  
  
I growled a little. "I'm just me, just Stephie. I'm no lady. I'm no personage of royal or important stature. I'm just a college student trying to make it in this world, all right?!"  
  
"Why do you think so little of yourself?" Gilderoy pressed, looking at me more intently this time as we both walked and while I still tried to make some grabs at the bags which he managed still to keep away from me.  
  
I wasn't going to give up, not by a long shot. "It's not that I think so little of myself as you say, I just don't have any delusions to grandeur or greatness. I don't expect you to understand."  
  
For the first time since he'd quite literally breezed into my life, he didn't appear stung or hurt in anyway from my statement. Apparently he was learning that was my bark wasn't per se done in a mean spirit. He just looked at me and nodded to show he'd heard what I said and would try to understand it at least.  
  
"I suppose I can come to understand it..." He murmured, pausing a little. I seized my chance and grabbed the bags from him, a smug triumphant little smirk on my face.  
  
I actually expected him to try and take them back, but he didn't. He just stood there looking very amused at me. I swear, he looked like he was silently laughing at me.  
  
*What in the faerying forest...?*  
  
I turned and decided to ignore it... when I saw precisely where I was. I was standing in the driveway of my house. We'd gone all the way from the market to home and now that I'd finally managed to get the bags, it was a wasted effort since were already home.  
  
*Note to self: SMITE HIM WITH A BLUNT SPOON!*  
  
"I should kick you." I groused as I went up the door and unlocked it. He merely gave me a very very cheeky grin and waited for me to enter before he too came inside. I in turn glared at him and made my way to the kitchen to unload the groceries. He followed me into the kitchen and made to grab one of the bags to put away the contents but I was quicker this time. I snatched it away.  
  
"No you don't! Go and settle yourself in the living room or wherever! You're not helping! I can do it myself, d'arvit!" I snapped, just daring him to try. He, however, shook his head amused at me, deciding this time to just plain acquiesce to my wishes. I smirked triumphantly as he left the kitchen, leaving me to prepare dinner.  
  
*So... now what to make... decisions... decisions... gotta love them... want to kill them.* 


	11. Babysitting Part One

A/N: Holy muffins! I am so very sorry for this long wait! School and my work schedule are evil and are quite conspiring to do me in. You can all feel free to pelt me with any form of fruit or vegetable you wish.  
  
Acknowledgments:  
  
ScarletRurouni: I loved you last review, as you already know! *huggles*  
  
FluffysBijin05: AWWWW! I am so glad and happy over your review! YAY! I redeemed him for you! SQUEEE!  
  
Crystalunicorn14: Crys-chan! YAY! Thanks oose for the review! *GLOMP*  
  
DarkShadowsFan: Look forward to seeing the next chapter!  
  
HyperCaz: I know... I am actually quite fond of the egocentric dolt by now.  
  
PT-chan: Yep! It's so obvious isn't it? *grins* Thank ye! I will indeed keep it up!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I sat bolt upright in my bed suddenly. I glanced around and saw the digital clock read 6:46 a.m. and I cringed. I always seemed to wake up before the alarm clock was due to go off. In a second I realized it was Monday. That meant I had classes to go to and a seven hour work day ahead of me. I cringed and fell back onto the bed, detesting the fact that it was so early and I already had to rise and shine as the expression was. However I sat up again, knowing if I layed there any longer I'd have a harder time getting off the bed. Sighing, I dressed in under a minute and ran my brush through my hair. Exiting my room I found Gilderoy still sleeping, snuggled beneath the blankets on the couch.  
  
*Well at least he can have the luxury of sleeping in without a care in the world...*  
  
There was so much injustice in that. I decided not to touch it with a fifty foot pole. Instead, I went into the kitchen and made a small and quick breakfast. I didn't even sit down at the table to eat. I ate my scrambled eggs standing up by the kitchen counter. The moment I took my last bite, I hastily washed the dish, fork, and cup of milk clean. After I'd dried and set them back in their proper places I went back into my room to grab my backpack.  
  
*If I didn't know any better I'd say I'm carrying rocks... dratted textbooks!*  
  
Proceeding back into the living room, I threw myself down in the smaller love seat, curling into a ball and using my jacket as a temporary blanket. I figured if I had to wait for Liz and Vash to show up before heading off to my busy schedule, I'd at least catch one or two winks of sleep.  
  
*Brrr.... it's so cold.*  
  
I shivered and resisted the impulse to get up and grab a fleece throw from my room. I had to stay as uncomfortable as possible, as a means of staying alert and ready to jump to answer the door. Besides, if I got up that would take away from getting a wink of sleep, and I don't want to get comfortable the second before I hear the doorbell.  
  
*Logic... why do you torment me?*  
  
I curled deeper into a tiny ball, which was probably doing worse things to me in the long run. This kind of posture only exacerbated my scoliosis, but do I ever listen? Nope. I don't think I ever will.  
  
I opened one eye and glanced at my watch. 7:00 a.m. it read. I closed my eye and clutched my jacket tighter around myself. The next thing that happened had me squeaking loudly and damn near falling off the love seat. A quilt was tossed at me, the bulk of it hitting me in the face. Snarling, I pulled away the folds of the warm cottony material and glanced sharply up. Gilderoy was sitting up on the sofa, a smug look on his sleepy face.  
  
"Why the ruddy hell did you throw that at me?" I growled quietly, brushing at my face to get fugitive tendrils of hair out of my eyes from that preemptive strike. Gilderoy just smiled a sleepy sort of smile. "You looked like you needed a blanket." He said in a voice that said that should have been quite obvious.  
  
*Well I did, but I'm not going to admit it. No siree.*  
  
"Yes well, be that as it may, you needn't have attacked me with the dratted thing." I growled just slightly amused but refusing to indicate so. He just tilted his head and gave me a sheepish expression. "The alternative would have require my getting up." He jested. POW! I hurled my pillow at him. A perfect shot. "Gilderoy Lockhart, you lazy git!" I snarled playfully. He hadn't ducked quick enough. The pillow hit him full on the face. He laughed and would have returned the pelt had there not been a knock at the door that moment.  
  
"Aiya! That'll be them!" I squeaked leaping from the sofa to open the door. Pulling open the door I smiled at my friend and her fictional guest. "Maegovannen Liz and Vash!" I greeted them in the Tolkien Elven tongue due to my quirky ways. Liz looked like she was trying hard to supress a laugh as I ushered them inside and shut the door behind them. "I know we're in a hurry and all, but would you or Vash like something to drink?" I smiled warmly, ready and waiting to serve. Liz grinned "No... I'm fine." She then turned to Vash. "What about you?" She asked him courteously. Vash seemed to think for a moment, as is really pondering what he'd like. "No thanks!" He smiled cheerily.  
  
"All right. Then I suppose we'll be off now. See that you two mind yourselves here. Do try and keep out of trouble." I said, the chide mainly for Gilderoy's benefit. I even glanced at him with an arched eyebrow to make sure the point hit home. Vash nodded, apparently thinking it was meant for him as well. Liz shot him a look that clearly said, "Thank you!"  
  
*I certainly owe him one myself. Poor guy. To have babysitting duty is one thing, but it's another when you've got to babysit Gilderoy.*  
  
"We'll be back this afternoon... it'll be sooner than you think!" Liz said cheerily.  
  
"Exactly so!" I chimed in, pausing a moment and wondering at the decision to leave Lockhart here alone, even if it was with Vash. "Well good day then. We'll return soon." I added and reopened the door and waited for Liz to go ahead. Liz smiled and waved, stepping outside ahead of me. I glanced back once more at the two and prayed silently that nothing would happen, as I closed and locked the door.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Vash smiled, sighing just slightly as they left. Gilderoy glanced at him, uncertainly. For the first time in his life he wasn't so confident. "So..." He spoke up lamely. Vash turned around, having forgotten he was there apprently. "Er.... hi!" Vash said somewhat cheerily. Gilderoy smiled his trademark winning smile as if it were a talisman. "Hello..." He said, wondering for the life of him what he's to do. "Do you know about muggle living?" He asked both for conversational purposes and out of genuine curiosity.  
  
"Muggles?" Vash asked with a confused sort of look. Gilderoy sighed and inaudible sigh. "Muggles, as in non-wizard folk. Obviously you don't because if you did you'd know what Muggles are." Gilderoy explained as he sat down, as he'd been standing from the moment he'd heard the knock at the door.  
  
Vash looked like he was resisting the impulse to laugh. "You mean people, as in humans? Like Liz and.... Stephie?" He asked. Gilderoy nodded, glad that Vash was catching on quick. It was hard enough explain such things to others but on top of an addled memory? Harder yet. "Yes, like them... but wait..." Gilderoy stopped and remembered what Vash had said and realized he'd not included himself in the statement. That's a bit odd, he thought to himself. "Then if you're not considering yourself with their lot, then what are you if I may ask?" Vash looked a little surprised. "Eh heh... er...." He glanced around, almost as if he were looking for an answer to that, or a way out of the question. " Wait a minute.... where are you from?" Vash then asked in a cautious sort of voice.  
  
That's quite the odd question. What did it matter? "I'm from a wizarding section of London, though my home, if you can call it that, has been in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries." Gilderoy answered him, his eyebrows just barely furrowed. "So... you live on Earth too, right?" Vash asked, still using that cautious voice. Gilderoy was growing more and more confused. "Yes of course!" He replied, wondering where this questioning was going. Breathing a sigh of relief, Vash said, "Alright then... sorry... I guess I'm just not used to it yet..."  
  
Quite aware of the fact that Vash had not answered his question, Gilderoy decided to just let it go. "Not used to what? To being here?" He asked instead.  
  
Vash sighed and slumped into a chair. "That and... that and being able to trust everyone not to kill me." He responded casually. What?? There must be some mistake. "Not to kill you? Merlin's beard, where are you from that you can't trust people not to kill you???" Gilderoy questioned, quite intruigued but more concerned.  
  
Vash laughed. "It's not their fault... most of them think I killed a bunch of people..." He traiked off frowning a bit. "Not that I did though! Really!" He added quickly, his eyes bright and holding just a trace of pleading. "Why would they think that? If I may ask?" Gilderoy inquired, unconsciously sitting forward in his seat. Of course he knew Vash didn't kill or hurt anyone. Though, he'd only known Vash for a day or two, but still, it's one of those obvious things. He just knew it. The tall aquamarine eyed blond froze for a split second. "Er.... dunno why!" He smiled brightly the next second and glanced at the kitchen. "Man, I'm hungry! I wonder if they've got any donuts here." He said and dashed into the kitchen faster than fast.  
  
Gilderoy glanced at the spot where Vash had been. He didn't exactly buy into that smile and cheery change of the subject. He sat back and sighed for a moment before he leaped up to find the large hardcover "Goblet of Fire" book he'd been reading earlier that morning unbeknowest to Stephie. He smiled and went back to the living room to sit back on the couch and waited for Vash to come back from the kitchen.  
  
"HEY! Do want any of this?" Vash called from the kitchen, his voice light and cheerful. Gilderoy's eyebrow furrowed. "Any of what, pray tell?" He asked,not glancing up from his intense reading. He was already at the part where Harry's name was called from the Goblet after all! He didn't want to be interrupted from his spot. He was so very curious as to who had managed to pull that off and what Harry would do. "Guess you don't want any" Vash's cheery voice called back.  
  
Shaking his head, Gilderoy rose from his spot and moved to the kitchen, setting the book on the dining room table, to find Vash making scrambled eggs. He instantly thought of Stephie, as she always seemed to be making scrambled eggs. "Ah! Then yes, I would indeed like some!" He said happily.  
  
Grinning, Vash turned around to hand Gilderoy a plateful. "Figured you would." He said and walked past him into the dining room and begins to eat quite ravenously, almost as if he hadn't eaten for a week. Gilderoy took the plate and moved to the dinning room as well, wondering whether to be amused or shocked at Vash's intense eating abilities. He too sat and began to eat, but perhaps not as voraciously as Vash.  
  
Vash frowned, pausing for just a second with his fork inches away from the plate. "KETCHUP!" He declared to himself and literally jumped up from the table and raced into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of ketchup to pour on his eggs. He turned to Gilderoy, who'd been watching somewhat amused and fascinated. "Want some?" Vash asked with an innocent expression. As he'd seen Stephie do precisely the same thing, but perhaps not drenching the eggs, he took the proffered bottle and puts some of the sweet red sauce on the plate. "Thank you." He told Vash and resumed eating his food at a leisurely pace. Vash grinned and continued to eat as well.  
  
They sat in a silent but yet companionable way, which definitely made him think all the more strongly of Stephie. She was always the quiet one, at least when it came to mealtime conversation. He thought more of this as he finished his plate off scrambled eggs to wait dutifully for his companion to finish also and awaits to take the plate as Stephie usually did. Vash finished his own food and stood, plucking Gilderoy's empty plate from his grasp as he takes both and goes to wash them in the kitchen sink, humming all the while.  
  
"I say! I was going to do that!" Gilderoy cried, a little indignant that he could not perform host duty. "Do you even know how to do the dishes?" Vash asked, laughing a little. Gilderoy placed his hands on his hips, just a little annoyed. "I do, too! Well... sort of..." He shot back, still indignant. "All right, I don't, but I wanted to try!" Deciding to add that truthfully. "All right... here..." Vash shook his head and waved him over with a soapy hand.  
  
Grinning, Gilderoy moved to stand by the overly tall blond and took up the little squishy sponge as he'd seen Stephie do before. He was quite happy! He'd show Stephie he wasn't just a good for nothing magazine cover picture. He took up his dish and began to wash it. He had to admit, it was a bit awkward at first but not so after rinsing said dishes and handing them to Vash to dry. Humming softly, Vash dried the dishes with a tiny grin on his face as he did so.  
  
"What's that you're humming?" Gilderoy asked as he continued washing, keenly aware that Vash had been humming off and on. "It's a song I learned when I was a kid... I've never really been able to get it out of my head..." Vash smiled a bit wistfully. Gilderoy glanced at him askance. "Where did you learn it from?" He really liked the tune of the song. "Um... a friend of mine..." Vash finally said, haltingly. "Really now? Someone from where you live I can only assume?" Gilderoy prompted quietly. He could tell there was a story behind this. Vash grinned a little. "You could say that..."  
  
Finishing the last of the dishes, he dried off his hands. "Does this friend have a name?" Gilderoy wondered vaguely if he was being entirely too nosy. He hoped he wasn't. "Rem." Vash answered simply. "A simple but nice name. You must miss Rem." Gilderoy responded with somewhat a kindly expression. Vash smiled and shook his head. "Yeah.... but not as much as before..."  
  
Gilderoy nodded, suddenly aware that he had no one to miss back in wizarding England. He'd done a good job at the single bachelor lifestyle. He had no attachments. Nothing to moor him to one place for long. This now saddened him slightly. What a fool he'd been.  
  
He shook his head and focused on Vash, smiling that winning smile. "So..." He grinned as if to ask "What now?", as they'd finished eating and washing dishes. "Er.... eh heh..." Vashed raised one hand behind his head to accompany his nervous laugh. "Why don't we..." He paused to think a moment. "Well we could..." He added, still thinking as he is still quite adled. Too much for his own good. "Hmm..." He breathed.  
  
He was spared further thought, as a piercing ringing caught their attention. Vash quirked his head up, as if recognizing the sound. Come to think of it, Gilderoy did too. He'd heard it before, but what the bloody hell was that?! Vash moved to the door quietly and tried to leave, but Gilderoy suddenly noticed this. "Oy, where are you going?"  
  
Vash grinned nervously. "Er... eh heh... GOTTA GO!" He said and raced for the source of the noise which happened to be that black little thing that he'd seen Stephie talking into one day. Now he understood! It was a tellyphone! He saw Vash diving for it as he got within reach and instantly sprang to life. Gilderoy leapt after him and dives for the tellyphone too, fully intending to be the one to answer it. "OY! Stephie's house and therefore as her next in, well whatever, I get to answer it!!" He gasped knocking over two chairs to leap across the room.  
  
Vash ignored him and grabbed the tellyphone and answered before Gilderoy even had the chance. "Hello??" He gasped. 


	12. Babysitting Part Two

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I tapped my foot anxiously, worrying that they'd gone and gotten into trouble. I was desperately hoping that none of the worst case scenarios that had been fluttering around in my mind the whole day had indeed not come to pass. I was about to screech with anxiety when I heard someone pick up the phone and heard Vash's gasp. I was now fully relieved.  
  
*He would be the one to answer the phone. Excellent. I thank thee for that gunman's early study of earth history.*  
  
"Vash? You sound out of breath... what happened? Did he do something??" I asked, imagining two or more of the worst possible scenarios.  
  
"No! Everything's fine! Did you want to talk to him?" Vash laughed a little nervously.  
  
I didn't like the sound of that nervous laughter, but I decided to let it be. I'd question the wizard instead. At least he feared me. I'd be able to get places on that fear. "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you, Vash."  
  
I heard a bit of silence and then Vash saying. "Uh... here." I heard Vash say, obviously handing the phone to the addled wizard.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Gilderoy grinned happily as he took the phone. Delightful! He was finally going to prove his worth and use the tellyphone! He holds it to his ear, the wrong end up but then sheepishly remembered it was the other way around. "Hello?" He asked.  
  
"Gilderoy, I just wanted to call and make sure things are all right." He heard Stephie's voice and at her pause, he suddenly pictured her frowning. "They ARE all right, yes?" She asked with a steely edge to her voice.  
  
He laughed, just a little nervously, aware that he and Vash had knocked over two or more of her chairs to get at the tellyphone. "Yes, everything's fine! Will you be home soon? Are you done with school? Or was it work?" He asked almost in one breath, not sure which was which on her schedule.  
  
She snickered a little bit. "Gilderoy, breathe... enough with the twenty questions. Yes, I'll be home soon. I am indeed done with classes but I've a bit of work to do." She told him. Gilderoy frowned just barely. He wished she would just come home. He missed her. The house was so different without her in it. " Oh... all right."  
  
There was a moment of silence and then suddenly Stephie gasped. "Aiya! I've got to run! Shift starts in five minutes. I'll talk to you later, Gilderoy. Do keep out of trouble." She said in a rush. Gilderoy smiled just barely at her chide. "Yes, of course. Good day." He said goodbye and clicked a button and then another because it hadn't hung up properly and then another before he actually got it. He glanced over in time to see Vash smirk a tiny bit while trying to stifle a laugh, having observed his trouble with the tellyphone.  
  
Quite aware that he'd fueled Vash's amusement, he calmly and composedly sets the tellyphone back. "Laugh if you will, but I am learning more than I ever thought I would about muggle living." Gilderoy quipped nonchalantly. Vash grabbed a bag of something from the kitchen and sat on the sofa. "Why do you keep calling them 'muggles'?" Vash asked curiously, offering the opened bag that turned out to be full of chocolate chip cookies.  
  
Gilderoy took a cookie. "Oh... that is our term for non-wizarding folk. Like we have the term for witch and wizard and squib." He explained as he nibbled on the cookie. It really was quite delicious. Vash munched thoughtfully. "Wizard.... wizard... OH! They're those people that use that stuff...." He seemed to think a moment. "MAGIC! That's right! Rem used to tell us... er... oh yeah! Fairy tales about people like them." He grinned. Gilderoy nearly choked on his cookie. "We're not just fairy tales! We're real just as muggles are." He said a bit huffily, peeved a bit at the idea of his kind being just fairy tales. Imagine! Vash waved hands in a calming manner. "Hey now... I didn't mean anything by it! I just haven't heard of any of you being real!" He explained. "I mean, I wouldn't get all upset if you said you'd never heard of me before!" He chuckled a little at that. "But the thing is I don't know what you are so I can't say if I've heard of you or not." Gilderoy tilted his head at Vash.  
  
Vash shook his head. "It's not what I am... It's who I am. 'Vash the Stampede... wanted dead or alive for the murder of Count Lebenon Vasquez, guilty of class G property damage... blah blah blah... 60 billion double dollar bounty. It's kinda depressing to list it all." He remarked casually once again, as if he's just been naming things to get for the week. It confounded Gilderoy. He looked at him thoroughly confused. "B-but..."  
  
Vash glanced at him wonderingly. "B-but that doesn't make sense... why would they think you did all that?" Gilderoy asked, looking earnestly at Vash and believing that Vash was a victim of a misunderstanding. Vash sighed deeply, apparently composing his thoughts. "Becasue I was there when it happened... every single time..." He finally said in an almost defeated voice. "I see..." Gilderoy nodded, now understanding. He glanced at Vash and thinks he is another person to be seen in a new light. "So that's why you said everyone was out to get you where you came from?" Gilderoy asked, remembering the comment from earlier.  
  
"Yeah... funny thing is... most of them don't even believe it's me! They've never believe a strange guy like me could be the terrible 'Vash the Stampede'... I guess they just can't picture a scrawny guy like me blowing up a town..." He laughed a little. Even if he was laughing, Gilderoy had enough sense left to note the slight sadness behind it. "I can't imagine it either..." Gilderoy grinned just slightly, trying to inject a little levity.  
  
Vash held a serious look for a split second, glancing out the window or off to the side. "I could if I wanted to..." He said, and then closed his eyes. Gilderoy felt a chill go up his spine for a moment, imagining the tall blond man beside him doing such a thing. "But she wouldn't like that." Vash added softly. "She? You mean Rem?" Gilderoy inquired, trying not to pry. "Yup." Vash grinned. Gilderoy smiled. "I see."  
  
"So what about you?" Vash asked slightly mischievously. Gilderoy blinked. "What about me what?" He asked confused. Vash's grin widened a bit. "Hey.. I'm not going to be the only one telling stories here." He remarked, looking expectant. "Stories... b-but..." Gilderoy sputtered, not keen on telling his own story now that he'd read it and saw what a git he's always been. Vash laughed. "Geez! You'd think YOU were the wanted outlaw here from the way you're acting!" He quipped, apparently thinking that Gilderoy was being a little over the top. Gilderoy looked down sheepishly. "Well... I'm no wanted outlaw... but my own story is not tea and cakes..."  
  
Laughing again, Vash tried once more to lighten the mood a bit. "Look pal, unless you've got an entire planet full of people who want to kill you, I really don't think there's anything you could do worse than something I've already done." He gave a friendly grin.  
  
Gilderoy sighed. "Well... I... er that is to say... I'm a fraud. Completely egocentric really. I took credit for others work and modified their memories so they wouldn't contradict me... I er... well... I'm a complete sham." He explained, fully wishing he could melt through the floor at the moment. "Everyone detests me because of it and my egocentricity and cowardice nearly lead to the death of three students." He finished,thinking of Harry, Ron, and Ginny.  
  
No wonder Stephie had been so wary of him. Gilderoy looked down. "That's why I was in St. Mungo's... my own charm backfired on me and I lost my memory, and I still haven't gotten it all back... just bits and peices from reading Stephie's books and all." He sighed a bit sadly, fully ashamed.  
  
Blinking, Vash studied him quizzically for a moment, before he shrugged. "You made mistakes. So does everyone else, and at least those students you mentioned are all still alive... as long as you realize your mistake and learn from it, there's no reason why you can't become a better person now." Vash told him."Besides... this world is made of... Love and Peace!" He grinned and did a pose that Gilderoy could only assume was a trademark pose. Gilderoy laughed inspite of himself. "So you don't despise me for all that? You don't think less of me?"  
  
"Do you think less of me because I'm a wanted man?" Vash shook his head. He gave a look to Gilderoy, as if that would spell out everything. "Well you're guiltless, you never did any of those things. I however and guilty of all my mistakes and it's not the same." Gilderoy reminded him, sitting back and forgoing eating anymore cookies from the bag that Vash had in his hand.  
  
"You don't get it do you? I'm not guiltless either. Just because I haven't done EVERYTHING I'm wanted for doesn't mean I haven't done SOME of it. Yeah, it was an accident... but all the same, I'm not guilt-free either. But does that make me seem like a horrible person to you?" Sighing, Vash fell back on the sofa clearly exasperated. "Well no..." Gilderoy looked down but then glanced up sharply again with a cheeky grin, "though you have an instant plus because you were never egocentric."  
  
Vash turned then and shot him a glance. "Then why do you expect me to think less of you?" Vash laughed and went on to say, "You really shouldn't put yourself down like that! It's not healthy!"  
  
"It's ironic really... puffing oneself up so much is unhealthy and putting oneself down so much is unhealthy. I'm sure there's a balance there somewhere." Gilderoy noted playfully.  
  
"Of course there is! And it's called Love and Peace!" Vash grinned widely. Gilderoy suppressed a laugh. "Love and Peace, eh?" The poor addled wizard, quirked his eyebrow at that. "Yes! Love and Peace! It's right up there with donuts!" Vash declared, his eyes bright. Gilderoy shook his head, amused. "Whatever you say, Vash."  
  
As fate would have it, a ringing pierced the air. It was the tellyphone! Vash heared the phone ring, jumped up, then sat back down again with a slight frown.  
  
Oblivious to this fact, as he intends to get at the phone first and learn how to use it, Gilderoy leapt up and ran to the phone. He picked it up and pressed a button... and then another... and then finally the right button. "Hello??" He asked into the phone, this time holding it the right way up.  
  
"Hello? Lockhart? That you?" Liz asked and muttered something else a little quietly.  
  
"Yes, it's me! I learned to answer the phone!" He gushed a little, very giddy at the fact that he'd managed to get it right. It's only too bad that Stephie hadn't called again. He wanted to show how her how much he learned. "I suppose you'll be calling for Vash though?" He asked Liz.  
  
Liz laughed at that. "Oh... I'm so proud." Why was she laughing so much, Gilderoy wondered. It wasn't that funny. He's learning! Indignant but hiding it, Gilderoy held the phone away from himself and out to Vash. "It's for you, Vash!"  
  
Vash jumped up and practically attacked him in his excitement at getting a call. "Hello??" Vash gasped. At this point, Gilderoy went back inot the living room and sat down with the book again and began reading where he left off. Though he did manage to hear Vash's side of the conversation quite well.  
  
"LIZ! Areyoudonewithclassesandcallingtoaskwhatkindofdonutstobring? Huh? Are you??" He asked all in one breath with the excitement of a child in a sweetshop. "Aw..." Vash said next. Really, Gilderoy wasn't eavesdropping. Can he help it that he's in the same room with Vash who happened to be on that tellyphone of Stephie's?  
  
At this point, Vash looked over at him. "Yup. We were trading stories." He told Liz. Gilderoy smiled a bit and managed to tune out the rest of their conversation, as he had just began to read again and managed to finish the last two pages of the chapter. Though he did manage to look up in time to see Vash push the button on the phone to turn it off as if he'd done that a million times before. He couldn't help it. Gilderoy rolled his eyes.  
  
"What?" Vash asked with an innocent expression. Gilderoy didn't buy that expression for one minute. "Nothing." He grinned in answer to Vash. Rolling his eyes too, Vash then grinned wickedly. "You know how to play cards?" Gilderoy remembered a certain game Stephie taught him in the elevator. "Just uno!" He said brightly.  
  
~*~*~*Two hours and several games of uno later~*~*~*  
  
"You think they're all right in there?" Liz asked me as we both walked up my front walk to the door. "I certainly hope so... else there'll be Bat Bogey Hexage." I smirked a bit. "Least I wish I could..." I added, shaking my head a bit.  
  
*It would come in more than handy.*  
  
Liz grinned. "Be nice, wouldn't it? Ah well... shall we?" She jerked her head in direction of the door.  
  
I nodded and unlocked the door to let Liz enter ahead of myself. I just barely stepped inside when I saw Gilderoy leap up happily, tossing down a card. "UNO!!!!!" He cried with glee.  
  
"What the..." Liz leaned against the door for support as she was laughing so hard. This all looked so familiar. It was an episode in the twilight zone.  
  
*Maman! Make it go away!*  
  
"Aiya??" I squeaked, looking upon the scene of Lockhart dancing with joy and Vash sitting down looking a bit dejected. "What in the faerying forest??" I asked with a twitchy sort of smile on my face.  
  
Liz was still laughing hard. "Vash.... just how many times have you lost?" Vash tossed down his remaining cards. "Don't know... lost track somewhere around 30 I think..." He told her.  
  
I grinned but tried to hide it. I was feeling so much better now that I wasn't the only one to lose to Gilderoy. "So did we have a good day?" Gilderoy asked Liz and I, a bright and cheery smile on his face. "Meh... I suppose. Glad to be home." I awarded him a smile. He really looked quite happy. It was heart warming...  
  
*Wait... NO! Not softening. Not happening... all right... at least I won't be a fekking marshmellow about it.*  
  
"Sure. Wonderful day." Liz shook her head, still laughing slightly. "Come on, donut boy... We'd better be going so this one can rest a bit. More school tomorrow you know."  
  
Vash grinned and stood up. "Can we get donuts on the way back?" He asked her hopefully. "Sure... why not?" She answered and then turned to grin at me. "Tomorrow then, Stephie?" Liz asked me.  
  
"Yes, tomorrow. Have a safe trip back! Sleep well too!" I smiled as I walked them to the door and opened it for them. "You too! bye!" She grinned as she walked out the door. Vash grinned widely. "See you tomorrow!" He said as he followed Liz out the door. "Have a lovely evening!" Gilderoy called out, still happy about winning apparently.  
  
I laughed a little, closed the door and turned to Gilderoy. "Spaghettio's for dinner?"  
  
He grinned.  
  
*Did I say that I am glad to be home?* 


	13. Conditional Love

A/N: *hands around vegetables* Here you are. Please pelt with feeling now. *stands back with a blind fold on, awaiting the pelting of vegetables on her person.... silence....* Oy? *takes off blind fold* Why aren't you all pelting me right now? It's been two or so weeks since I last updated. PELT me, d'arvit!  
  
Acknowledgments:  
  
PT-Chan: LOL! Chibi Vash and Lockhart! *giggles insanely* I'm glad you like the whole telephone or actually tellyphone scene. *grin*  
  
HyperCaz: LOL! Isn't it? *grin* More fun will abound, indefinitely.  
  
Coffee Luv and Mort: OOH! I'm glad you find this amusing! That's the point! Random pointless humor! *demented grin*  
  
DarkShadowsFan: Here's another chapter from yours truly! Enjoy luv!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next day I happily jotted down my hours on my time card, tossing a few goodbyes to my coworkers as I breezed over to collect my purse and jacket. I left the college library where I worked, squinting in the bright sunlight as I walked down the way to the corner where I'd hop the bus home. I rummaged through my purse for my sunglasses, wondering if I'd been a baka again and left them in my backpack at home.  
  
"Please tell me I wasn't a baka deshi, please," I muttered to myself as I came up to the cross walk, pushing the button before continuing to rummage in my purse.  
  
*Eureka, garbage! Why so much crapola in my purse? D'arvit, you're doing spring cleaning the instant you get home, Stephania Julianna!*  
  
Luckily for me, there they were, buried at the bottom of my personal stock of crapola. I happily put on my glasses and began to cross the street. I made it to the bench and sat down just as the bus came rolling around the corner.  
  
*Must be a reprieve for me. This is indeed a record.*  
  
I couldn't help but jump up and punch the air with glee. Usually I had to wait for nearly twenty or so minutes before a bus came to my stop. Now I'd be getting home in under ten minutes which is a far cry from the time it usually takes. This meant that I had more time to eat and complete my homework and continue my tutorials on muggle living with Gilderoy.  
  
If you can believe it, I've gotten really used to having the wizard in my home. Saturday I wouldn't have said as much. I'd have told you that you'd gone off your rocker. That you were stark raving mad. Me? Grow accustomed to Gilderoy, the egocentric maniac's presence? Ha! As if! Yet, here on Friday afternoon, at two pm, I'm finding I was looking forward to getting home to see him.  
  
Either he was really growing on me, or I'm really starved for steady and continual companionship. Either way, the fact remained that I had just hopped off the bus and if you can imagine, skipping on my way home, wondering if he had any new discoveries to alert me to, as well as wondering if he had a nice time with Vash today. He'd had so much to tell me the day before. It seems he and Vash had gotten on quite well. However, I wonder if Vash shared the sentiment. I smirked, wondering what kind of thoughts were going through the gun-toting pacifist's head.  
  
As I turned the corner on my street, I pulled my purse closer to me, rummaging once again, this time for my keys. I found them more easily than I did my glasses, why that was, I had no clue. In any case, I moved up my walk and up to the porch, pausing to croon a hello to my cat, Patches, scooping her up in my arms for a moment.  
  
"Long day?" I asked her, scratching behind her ears lightly. She made her purring sound, her little cat eyes closed. "A good day then," I laughed, setting her down on the floor. She mewed and moved to the front door, clearly waiting for me to open it and let her in. I grinned, unlocking the door to find Liz and Vash on the other side, clearly having been about to leave. Liz gave me a tired smile before she and I exchanged goodbyes. She and Vash then proceeded down my walk, heading down the street to the bus stop. I waved and then entered my house.  
  
After I'd tossed my jacket on the bed and hung my purse in it's proper place, I left my room and made my way to the kitchen where Gilderoy smiled widely, retrieving a bowl of Spaghetti-O's from the microwave. I paused in the doorway, amused, my arms crossed over my chest. "So, who helped you with that? Liz or Vash?" I asked, a playful smirk on my lips.  
  
He didn't answer me right away. Instead he grabbed a spoon from the drawer and put it in the bowl before grabbing a cup to pour milk in. Once he'd done all this, he presented me with the bowl and the cup of milk. "Liz," he answered, smiling a sheepish smile. I didn't care if he'd had Vash had help him. It was nice of him to have my favorite meal prepared for me, particularly after such a long and tedious day at work.  
  
"I thank you," I told him, taking up the offered meal and proceeding to the dining room table. "Won't you be eating as well?" I asked, glancing at him. He shook his head then. "No, I had quite a lunch with Vash." He told me, sitting down at the table as well. "Oh! I almost forgot, Vash said you need to get more donuts." He relayed, nodding his head in that cute sort of way that only he could pull off.  
  
I laughed, taking a spoonful of the delicious 'O's. It would be like Vash to finish the stash and tell me to get more. I smirked and saluted. "Yezzum. There will be more donuts for the next time he comes." I responded, drinking some of my milk. "So, what did you two do today? Did you lot have another round of 'Uno' or have you moved up to poker yet?" I inquired. He merely grinned roguishly.  
  
*Why does he have to do that?*  
  
I tried not to focus on his smile, glancing down at my bowl before taking some more spoonfuls. "No, we watched some of your movies. Something about turtles... in human form..." Gilderoy recounted, frowning a little, trying to remember the name.  
  
*GRRRAAHH! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Not seen it for years and they watch it when I'm at work! Foul destiny!*  
  
"I should kick you," I sighed, polishing off the rest of my food. I rose and took the dishes into the kitchen to wash. He jumped up and followed me, looking a little confused. "Why?" He asked me.  
  
I smirked, rinsing the dishes off. "You get to do all the fun stuff while I'm at work. For that fact alone I should kick you." I laughed a little, knowing I didn't mean it. Apparently he cottoned on to the fact as well. "Right, you know you love me." He grinned impishly.  
  
*OY! Now I know he's hung around me too long! D'arvit, he's even using my trademark expressions!*  
  
"I admit to nothing, prat." I retorted, heading back to the living room, with him following behind. "Mm-hm, I believe you. Right." He said in a sing song sort of voice. I merely awarded him with a mock glare before I turned my back on him to proceed to my room, intent on retrieving my Library Technology textbook from my bag.  
  
I pulled the book from my bag, turning to chapter three, before handing it to him. I then threw myself on the bed, sitting cross legged, clutching my treasured fleece throw around myself. "I'd love you more if you helped me study for my quiz." I told him, a wicked grin on my face.  
  
He glanced at the book in his hands. Then he glanced at me for a long moment. "Which classification system is used in most academic libraries in the United States?" He asked, sitting down on the bed beside me.  
  
"Dewey Decimal System," I smiled. 


	14. Swept Off My Feet

A/N: *PHEW* Here's another chapter for you all! I wanted to make sure I wrote this while it was still fresh in mind and as soon as I could so that y'all wouldn't have to endure another two or three week long wait. *grin*  
  
Acknowledgments:  
  
HyperCaz: LOL, I know how it is! I wouldn't want to share the other two characters who will be visiting me in future sections of this trilogy. *grins* I actually made a mistake in that last question. I realized that depending on what TYPE of academic libraries, there is the possibility that the answer should have been the LC (Library of Congress) System, but who really wanted to know that? *winks*  
  
FluffysBijin05: Yare, they did get on well. It's quite amusing really. Thanks!  
  
Ilovesmyblondeybaear: YAY! Tomatoes! Now I can make ketchup! WHEE! Ach no, if you want a sexy sort of story, I can recommend nothing. I know not of such stories featuring Gildie.  
  
Jestana: LOL! MINE! Thanks though for the compliment! Arigatou! Merci!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Later that evening, after a well cooked dinner by Gilderoy, surprisingly enough, he and I sat on the sofa together with our glasses of sparkling cider. He'd refused to let me sit in the smaller love seat and I'd refused to take the sofa all for myself when he was the guest. We managed to come to a most amusing compromise. We BOTH sat in the sofa. I sat comfortably with my legs stretched out, my feet just reaching his hips and the other end of the sofa. He, too, sat comfortably with his legs stretched out and because he was taller, his feet barely dangling off the edge by hips.  
  
I'd tossed my treasured "Mother and Daughter" afghan over our legs, so that we were both comfortably snug and warm. I forget how this particular afghan came into my possession. I hadn't bought it and I know it had never been given to me. I liked to think it was a present from my mother to me, but I didn't. I reminded myself it had just appeared in my closet shelf too long ago for me to even think on how it got there.  
  
I set my glass of sparkling cider down on the coffee table so that I could prop my arm up on the sofa and rest my head on my open palm. I left my eyes flit to the silky white curtains that moved in the crisp late Autumn winds. I was a bit chilly, but I didn't feel it. I was in one of my plain tank tops and jeans, but to me, this was the perfect temperature. I felt just fine.  
  
I spared a glance at my companion, who had his eyes closed contentedly, listening to the music that was playing from my parents sound system. "This is really nice. Who is this again?" Gilderoy asked me, causing me to turn back to him.  
  
"Amy Grant," I answered him, bobbing my head just barely to the music. I've liked Amy Grant for years, and granted, she also did some Christian music here and there, but half the time I tended to disregard or not pay attention to that fact. She's just one of those singers that is not 'in' or 'with the times' per se, but I liked her anyway. I grew up on the music and it was a style I appreciated.  
  
Gilderoy nodded, listening attentively to the music. I took up my cider again then, drinking deeply. I pursed my lips for a moment in thought. "Oy, git," I nudged him with my foot a little, "I've a question for you."  
  
He swivelled his gaze to me then, prompting me with his eyes. I paused, gathering my thoughts. "What's it like to be attractive? To be popular?" I asked him seriously, tilting my head a little in curiosity. He blinked, "Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard me, answer the question." I responded, crossing my arms across my chest then. He continued to stare at me. "Well I-I," he began, looking a little sheepish. "Just be honest, don't try and sugar coat it and don't downplay the answer." I told him, slouching a little, leaning my neck on the arm of the sofa. Gilderoy nodded, thinking some before answering. "It's nice at first, still is... but somewhere along the way it becomes very empty, because you're still alone." He said finally, looking down at his hands, examining them as I sometimes did. "It's also scary, because when you know the regard of many is based on your looks, you begin to wonder if you'll still have such regard when your looks fade with age..." Gilderoy added, his eyes on mine.  
  
I could understand the part about being alone through it all, but I can't say that I understood the fear. I've never felt it or dwelt on it, as I'd always been... well... the ugly duckling. Though, I refuse to use that expression. I often substitute it with words like 'plain' or 'unattractive' duckling. I have some pride after all.  
  
Fingering the edge of the afghan, I gave him a small smile. "I'm sorry. I can't say I fully understand, but I suppose I can appreciate the part about being alone." I told him honestly. I slid my eyes from his to the ceiling, looking closely at the various images the plaster and interspersed glitter made. I could feel Gilderoy staring at me then, and it made my inspection of the ceiling next to impossible since I wasn't able to concentrate when I know someone's staring at me.  
  
"What?" I asked, looking at him again. "Why did you ask that question?" He inquired, it being his turn to be curious and tilt his head in like manner. It didn't help me that his expression made him look even more handsome than before.  
  
*Merlin, it should be illegal for some people to be that gorgeous.*  
  
I shrugged, giving him a level gaze. "I was just wondering what I was missing, if anything." I responded. He gave me a look that said he wasn't buying it. "Seriously!" I said, bopping his arm with my pillow. He chuckled, ducking and tossing his pillow right at me in retaliation. "Oy!" I cried, tossing the afghan over him and jumping to my feet all in one movement.  
  
I laughed and dashed over to the kitchen, deciding to duck and hide in the little laundry alcove. "You can run but you can't hide," his voiced reached my ears as if from very far away. I stifled my laughter and peeked out just barely, spotting him moving away from the living room, going towards the bedrooms in search of me. I grinned, and moved from my hiding space, intent on getting to the coat closet by the front door. I dashed through the room my footsteps as light as I could make them when I was suddenly caught and lifted up as if I weighed nothing at all.  
  
"Aiya?!" I gasped, finding myself in Gilderoy's arms. He merely shook his head. "Tut tut, thought you'd outwit me?" He teased, a most mischievous grin alight on his face. I rolled my eyes and wiggled, hoping that he'd put me down. He didn't.  
  
*Well... I always said I wanted to be swept off my feet... but somehow I hadn't figured in this little scenario*  
  
I pursed my lips and glared. "Gilderoy Lockhart, you put me down this instant." I demanded, crossing my arms. "All right, if you insist," he quite literally dropped me... if only a few inches. I squeaked and threw my arms around him, so that if I fell, he'd fall too. "Git! That's not what I meant and you know it!" I growled, opening one of my eyes to glance at the floor. Was it just me, or was he really tall?  
  
He chuckled, his eyes bright and his lips curled into a half smirk. "Then what did you mean, my dear?" He asked me expectantly, clearly wanting to know what I'd come back with. This would not do. He'd not be taking away the fun for me. What's the point in life if I could not amuse and surprise someone?  
  
"I meant that you should kindly set me on my feet once again, so that I may salvage as much of my dignity as possible. Aside from that, it's highly improper the way you're carrying on." I told him, with quite the level gaze, even if I wanted so much to laugh at that point. "In the old days, we'd have to marry for being this close and intimate." I pointed out, unwinding my arms from around his neck so that I could cross them once again. He smiled roguishly then, moving away from the wall towards the end of the couch, with me still in his arms. "Hmm... quite a fine idea if you ask me." He responded, grinning.  
  
*So, I hadn't seen that one coming...*  
  
I narrowed my eyes at him. "That may be fine for you, but I'm too tired to be married." I responded without missing a beat. He blinked, gazing askance at me. "Don't you mean too young?" He asked. I shook my head, still holding the level gaze. "No, precisely what I said, too tired to be married, but now that I think of it, I'm too young and too short as well. You see, it just wouldn't work out." I replied with a straight face. He chuckled, quite amused with my odd answer. "Aside from that, aren't you getting tired of carrying me?" I asked him, going on to add, "I'm quite heavy, you know."  
  
Gilderoy shook his head. "You're as light as a feather," he told me, smiling. I didn't believe that for one moment. I know perfectly well how heavy I was. "Lies," I muttered, not exactly belittling myself when I said that. I knew I was average in both height and weight, but I was not egocentric enough to belief I was light. I knew I was at the very least, slightly heavy. Because he'd lied, I decided to move in with a preemptive strike. I began to tickle him, willing to risk his dropping me at that point because we were by the couch anyway.  
  
"Arrgh!" He cried, the both of us tumbling down hard onto the floor. I'd missed the couch by several inches, but at least my ankle had landed on the couch. Part of the plan had worked, except for the part with the throbbing along my elbows, shoulder, and hip. That part had not been part of the plan. "Sod it all..." I groused, rubbing my arm with a slight wince. I glanced over at Gilderoy, poking him gently on the shoulder. "I didn't kill you did I?" I asked.  
  
He managed to get into a sitting position then. "No, but my pain in my limbs would suggest otherwise." He responded, glancing over at me, still slightly amused. "Desperate times called for desperate measures." I told him, as if that would explain everything. He just shook his head, muttering, "You win."  
  
*I do so love it when I win.* 


	15. To Stay or Not to Stay

A/N: Frick! I am so sorry for the LOOOOONG arse wait for this next chapter. I apologize profusely and throw myself upon your mercy and good will. I hope to have the final chapter up just as soon. So here's hoping that school and classes don't eat me alive again. *bitter laugh*  
  
Acknowledgements:  
  
PT-chan: Aww, thank you. I am glad you find this cute. Woot!  
  
HyperCaz: I found my smelly duck socks in my closet last night. *smirk*  
  
ScarletRurouni: The too young to marry bit was from my treasured book "Ella Enchanted" it was a lovely homage to the wonderful story. *grin*  
  
FluffysBijin05: Glad you liked it, and I am soooo sorry for the wait. *growls at self*  
  
Coffee Luv and MORT: Pointless humor is quite fun it is!  
  
CoffeeCokeCookie: Yes, it does have that effect on you. *smirk* Glad I can amuse you greatly with this.  
  
Jestana: Yes, quite the understanding.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The next day, bright and early, I dashed down to the corner liquor to grab some milk. Being the moron that I was, I had quite forgotten to check my food supplies for the weekend. I'd gone to see about making some breakfast to find we were out of milk. I decided to slip away while Gilderoy was still catching those z's that I treasured so much and rarely got these days. I scrawled a quick note and left it on the coffee table where he would see it before he saw anything else once he had the grace to wake up.  
  
*No, I'm not bitter that he sleeps a world better than I do. No siree.*  
  
After donning my jeans, green long sleeved shirt, green fleece jacket, and purse, I dashed outside into the crisp air. The breeze was light and made me feel as if I were in New York or elsewhere in the East Coast. I pulled my fleece jacket closer to myself and made my way quickly to the liquor, which was two blocks over and one block down, musing to myself with each step I took.  
  
I felt strange for some reason. This whole week was something else. I felt that I was living a dream of some sort. Nothing like this had ever happened to me. First, there was the fact that my parents were going to be gone for three weeks. A truly precious Merlin-send, as I quite needed the mental health weeks with them away. Yes, I still attended my classes and still went to work at the times I was scheduled, but somehow it felt different from the other times my parents had left. Oh yes, how could I forget, there was the matter of living with a man all this week. Yes, that was it. I'd always been pretty much on my own and now, I wasn't. I had someone living with me.  
  
Granted, he was just there until whatever sent him here sees fit to take him back. I suppose it was a reprieve for the both of us. He got away from St. Mungo's to lead a different sort of life if only for a week and I suddenly had a companion to share my tedious week with. I never thought I'd be getting along as well as I am with him, and never thought I'd be wondering about the possibilities of him actually staying. Strangely enough, it feels like I'm married...  
  
*OY! That's it, stop right there, Miss Stephania Julianna! You are not thinking that, not at all. One, you know you'd be preferring someone else, a certain DADA professor, so get that right out of your head, and two, he can't stay. You know he can't. You don't even have a place of your own, wench!*  
  
It was moments like this, that I wondered how I ever managed to stay even slightly sane, given the shape of my life. "All I want is a life, please," I muttered to myself, "is that too much to ask?" Apparently it was, as I stepped into the liquor, purchasing the milk that had prompted me on this errand. I grabbed the bag and left the store, heading back the way to my house, not even realizing that I was trudging.  
  
*Life isn't fair, Stephie, you'll have to deal with it as you have been. Never sigh, never cry.*  
  
I reached my front door step a little bit later, unlocking the door and stepping inside. I then moved to the kitchen where I found Gilderoy making some scrambled eggs for the both of us. I smiled, setting the milk in its proper place in the refrigerator. "We are learning, grasshopper," I joked approvingly. He grinned, turning off the burner and tipping the eggs into the two plates on the counter. "Well, I did have a fine teacher," he returned, giving me that simple smile that he was now coming to reserve only for me.  
  
I laughed, reaching for two cups to pour some milk in. "You flatter too much." I told him playfully, taking the cups along with forks and napkins into the dining room. He followed me bringing the plates of eggs. "Hardly that," he responded, setting the plates down and pulling out my chair for me. I thanked him and sat down, taking up my fork for a bit to eat.  
  
We ate our breakfast meal, and after he took the dishes in to wash, even though I was more than willing to do that myself. Not wishing to be pampered, I dried the dishes and put them away, wishing to do something. "You know... I want to go back, but in a sense I really don't want to," Gilderoy admitted to me, drying his hands on the towel I offered him, turning to me with a pensive sort of expression. I didn't say anything at first, refusing to admit, even to myself, that I wanted him to stay, however small the feeling was. "You'll have to go back someday, Gilderoy, and to be honest, even if I were to let you stay, it wouldn't work out," I responded, vaguely, putting the towel back where it belonged once he was finished with it.  
  
He nodded in understanding, following me out of the kitchen to the living room, where I flopped down on the sofa. He sat down by me, shifting me slightly so that my calves rested comfortably in his lap, tossing the afghan over the two of us. "You know, I wanted to ask you if you enjoyed reading my Harry Potter books." I mused after a few moments of silence. I snuck a glance at Gilderoy who had a surprised look on his face.  
  
"H-how did you know about that?" He asked me, looking very sheepish. I laughed, finding this so amusing. "I went to grab something from the bin under my bed, and I noticed a few things were out of their place, and there was a bookmark in book five that hadn't been there before." I explained logically, a smirk on my face.  
  
He ducked his head, still sheepish, before sparing me a glance. "I had wanted to know what really happened and what happened after, I had thought it might help me remember some things." He said, tracing a pattern on the afghan. I poked his hand a bit playfully. "Did it help then?" I asked, curious myself.  
  
He turned to look at me, a touch of seriousness on his face. "Yes, it did," he responded, our eyes on each other. 


	16. Goodbye

A/N: Told you! Ha! Ha! I promised a quick update and here it 'tis! La, but it do shimmer so! *does happy hobbelf dance* I thank you all for reading and faithfully reviewing, I love you all much! Here's hoping for more reviews from each of you in future works!  
  
Acknowledgements:  
  
HyperCaz: LOL! I do think the grasshopper thing was from Karate Kid, not sure, I just remember hearing it somewhere and laughing my head off. *grin* Oh, and you didn't here this from me... *whispers* but this is just the first part of a trilogy... and there is a slight possibility that I'll *looks over shoulder* chose the second option you suggested. *smirks*  
  
CoffeeCokeCookie: LOL! Married couple! Yea, I bet we do bicker much like that. So funny to think about it! In anycase, I can't wait to get onto the sequel and the finale. Love trilogies much I do. *salutes*  
  
FluffysBijin: I know. I'm kind of sad to see it end, but the story must go on! Oh! I don't have such magazine! I wish I did! Well wait... no, because I don't like the actor they got to be Lupin, so I'd much rather leave the beautiful mental image I have of him... *dreamy sigh*  
  
Jestana: Glad it cheered you up. As to what is next... well read on friend.  
  
Coffee Luv and MORT: Yes, Stephie (who is me) tends to talk to herself a lot. She doesn't always know it at the time, but yea, she does and it always makes her laugh afterwards. *grins* Because yea, this is actually a story based off of reality, this is me, everything in it is true, the schedule, the family, the house, the whole deal, with the exception of little Gilderoy being in the picture. *smirk*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I woke the next day on the sofa, momentarily disoriented, as I was confused over not being in my own bed. I yawned, rubbed my eyes, and sat up a little, barely batting at my tousled hair. I glanced down noticing I was still in the same clothes I had on the evening before, my jeans and green long sleeve shirt. At that point I came to realize why I was on the couch. Gilderoy and I had been watching the "I Love the Eighties" marathon on VH-1 the previous evening. I must have fallen asleep and he must not have had the heart to move me, since I wasn't in my bed. I could tell that I hadn't been the only one on the couch because there were two blankets and I was currently wrapped up tightly in the one, like a burrito.  
  
*Burrito baby strikes again. Stephie, the day you stop wiggling around in your sleep is the day naked mole rats fly.*  
  
I stretched and fell off the sofa, landing in a heap on the floor. "That smarts," I groaned, sitting up and inspecting my elbow that had hit the floor not at all gently. It was red, but otherwise fine. I sighed and stood up, dusting myself off. I then glanced around slightly blearily, wondering where the git had gone. He wasn't in the kitchen and he wasn't anywhere in the living room.  
  
*Might be in my bedroom perusing my books again...*  
  
Folding the blankets and stacking the pillows atop them I left the living room tidy before moving into my bedroom to find I was right, he was there, but he wasn't perusing my collection. The closet door was open, the right side shimmering slightly, however much it looked normal, and Gilderoy sat in my pink swivel chair, staring at the closet, his head resting upon his hand.  
  
My eyes widened a little, moving to closely inspect my closet, my hand hovering, palm out, towards the shimmering, the air warm. I closed my eyes and sighed. "How did this happen?" I asked, not turning around, my hand still hovering. I heard him take in a breath. "I had just come in here to get something to read, as you were still sleeping," he paused, I could feel his eyes on me, "I just felt it. I had to open the closet, and this is what I saw."  
  
*Well... that solves everything... you know he can't stay and it's better that he goes back. He doesn't belong here and you know it...*  
  
I truly loathed that self-righteous little voice half the time. Yes, it may be right ninety five percent of the time, but honestly, must it lord it over me? Such as life, Stephie sweet, deal with it and make the world go it's happy little way. Who was I kidding?  
  
*Happy little way? I must have taken crack the other night.*  
  
Why lie? I was going to miss him, and he didn't even know it. He didn't know how much he'd done for me. He had given me back something that I thought I would never see again, the tiniest bits of understanding towards even the most egocentric types. Not to mention the fact that he'd made this week the most interesting and even idyllic in some senses. I had to admit, if I had a choice to go back and do it all over again, I would.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for, the wizarding world awaits you, Gilderoy." I told him, finally turning to face him, a tiny smile on my face, for his sake. I was never really any good with goodbyes. He rose from his seat moving forward, coming to stand by me, his eyes moving from the gleaming portal to me, his eyes uncertain.  
  
I forced a calm and neutral expression. "Just find a way to tell me you're fine, all right?" I implored, my eyes on his. He nodded, taking hold gently of my hand. "I promise," He responded, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. I smiled and went to pack the clothes that Liz and I had purchased for him earlier that week, even if it had seemed like years ago. I brought him the little bag with the clothes and as I moved back to him, I paused, reaching into my drawer to withdraw my blue fleece scarf that I always wore during wintertime. I folded that up and put it in the bag also, his eyes on me all the while.  
  
Moving towards him, I handed over the bag. "I want you to have that scarf. Who knows, it might come in handy in winter," I laughed nervously. He held the bag, his eyes moving from the bag to me. "Thank you, Stephie, I only wish I had something for you," he murmured, then instantly smiled, "but wait, I do!"  
  
He eagerly opened the bag and located his periwinkle blue cloak, the same one he'd been wearing when he'd first shown up in my closet. "I know you always wanted your own cloak, so I want you to have this one." Gilderoy offered, putting the cloak around me, fastening the brooch clasp. I gasped in surprise. He was giving me his cloak! "But, Gilderoy, you're ensemble will be missing this! I can't accept it," I breathed, my hands moving to undo the clasp, but his hands found mine.  
  
"I want you to have it, and besides, it's not about the apparel, it never was," he told me, lifting a hand to his chest, indicating his heart, "it's what's in here." I couldn't believe it. Maybe I had done something for him. I had given him a second chance and I hadn't even known it! It was enough to make a grown girl cry.  
  
*La, but I don't have tissues!*  
  
I nodded, letting my hands fall to my sides. "You're right, and thank you," I responded. He smiled a real smile this time. "You've no need to thank me, not after all you've done," Gilderoy informed me, giving me a warm hug. I returned it, knowing it would be the last time I ever saw him again. "Goodbye, Gilderoy Lockhart, let's only hope the wizarding world is ready for the upgraded version." I joked.  
  
"Goodbye Stephie, I'll miss you." He told me, stepping into the closet. I smiled sadly, closing the closet door, the light vanishing.  
  
*I'll miss you, Gilderoy... git though you may be... I'll miss you...*  
  
I let my hand drop from the closet door knob, my hand resting on my jeans, and turned away, back to life as I knew it.  
  
~*~*Le Fin*~* 


End file.
